National Napping Day & SOS 21/40

I read it on the internet. It's National Napping Day today. I've done my job already. Felt awful this morning and stuff that's TMI and not for public publication ...
Anyway, so much on my mind lately and zero focus power.

I have been listening (almost nonstop) to Les Miserables on Pandora and can differentiate between the Original London cast, the Original Broadway cast, the Symphonic celebration & myriad other versions... as well as the movie version ...actually craved the sound of Russell Crowe as Javert. Ack.
As a result I am moved to tears on a regular basis. I don't know if that's good or bad or if I like it or not but it is what it is.

Also, school has been somewhat overwhelming. I found out today that I got a B+ in my last class so that's good news. I took the CSET on Saturday and I feel good about it. I will find out on April 8th if my "good feelings" mean anything. The class I'm taking now isn't too much pressure... finally. Then another CSET (2&4) on May 4th. One more class then hopefully I'll be all done and ready for Student Teaching in the fall. Ugh. Graduation in December? Maybe.

My diet is over. I tried giving up dairy, gluten, fat, carbs... That was not working for me. Now I'm comfort feeding and not feeling guilty. I'm not taking any meds (for depression or pain or anything) so I'm being gentle. I'm still wary of dairy but we'll see. I'll probably do the low-carb Metabolism Miracle when I'm ready to be committed again. Maybe tomorrow. Today I had chocolate cake. (Check out Back Roads Living!)

So here's to hopping back on the bandwagon with everything. With Daylight Saving time there is more sunlight to enjoy and I should enjoy it.

How to be a Human & SOS Day 14/40

I started another blog once. I called it "How to be a Human" because I think people either don't know how to be human or don't care so I figured if I gave some tips and taught a few lessons I could make the world a better place and, you know, bring about World Peace. Single-handedly.

Yeah.

So, that lasted like maybe a week or two then something happened and I lost all hope for humans and took the blog down. I never promoted it or talked about it anywhere but the thought continues in my mind that we really need someone to stand up and just teach people how to BE HUMAN!

And not just be human to other humans but to animals, plants, the environment... I am not a tree-hugger. I am not a Vegan. I am however a believer in agency, free will, choice. I advocate choice.



That being said I had a few things that hit me and made me happy this week. It put my faith back into humanity and made me feel like maybe I'm not the only one that is sad over the state of society, and humankind as a whole. 

So today I am giving you my Top 5 Make Me Happy, There Is Hope For Humans, They Do Exist, Good People Moments of the last week.



1. The Masai Tribe of Kenya.
Have you heard about this? It's been over ten years, why did I not remember this? Then again, post 9/11 was a complete foggy, depression haze that took me quite some time to recover from. I hoped this story wasn't just a legend so I looked it up and discovered that it was even made into a children's book so PARENTS CAN TEACH THEIR KIDS how to be kind or HUMAN! What a thought. 

The most beautiful part of this story is that the people came together and offered something that is vital and significant to their lives and culture. They recognized the pain and grief of such a horrendous act and DID something. 

2. Rose Siggins.

The mom with no legs. She has more than survived, she thrives! Married with children she takes care of her family in spite of her disability and does so with a better attitude than I do most days! (I am assuming, because I know I have a bad attitude.) Her story makes me believe in true love, true optimism and makes me humble. She is currently in need... BE HUMAN! If you can help, please do (if you can't, at least send good vibes and share her story)!

3. Curing Aids.

No, not quite yet, but a baby was cured of HIV and this is a good sign. Scientific strides to help people overcome horrible illnesses make me happy. HUMANS using their Brains to benefit Humanity. Cool! 

FYI Cancer next you SMART HUMANS YOU!

4. Weirdness.

This picture made me happy. Our family motto (I should clarify this is my family, Superman's family is way to classy for this...!) is "Better Weird Than Mean" and I agree that Weird=Awesome. Yeah, I'm all over that.

Also, this girl looks a bit like Zooey Deschanel who epitomizes the term "Adorkable;" another fun word.

5. The people in my life.

No link for that. My family, my friends, stuff that just falls into place because the time/place/circumstances are finally *right* -- good things. Posts from authors I love about the little things that make them happy. Seeing beautiful pictures of babies, and grandmas and lakeside cottages. Visiting with friends and feeling connected again. Listening to podcasts by "strangers" yet I feel like I know them. 

Our world has gotten smaller on some levels because of the internet. I can post something that is relevant halfway around the world and people there will see it, immediately. Crazy. 

I don't need an entire blog space to contribute my little ideas on how to make this world a better place, I just need to do something. Every now and then I might talk more about this idea but for now it's just here and now and what is making me happy today.

Slacker & SOS Day ?/40

I am overwhelmed. I did some back blogging but as you can see I have not done anything new since waybacklastTuesday! Ugh. FAIL!

But the awesome thing about Failure is that you are not a failure unless you quit. 

I am not quitting.

Today is my 6 month bday so I am halfway done with this project. Yesterday I was supposed to start cross-posting to my new site but that's not going to be happening anytime soon. You are free to look at the empty page if you like... 
I do not have a "theme" for my blog. I am a continuous op-ed piece aka chronic brain-dumping. The subtitle of my new blogsite kind of sums me up; Because I have opinions.

Yep.

So today I finish some homework (very important class). Tomorrow the new class starts. It's teaching Health in a Secondary Ed classroom. I found out I will probably not graduate in May as I thought because I still need to do my Student Teaching. I don't know because I don't really understand how it works. What I do know is that to participate in the Commencement ceremonies in May I must have all my Coursework completed by September. Since I have to do Student Teaching for 1/2 a semester (how long is that? 9 weeks?) and that cannot be started any earlier than August (at best) then I will not be done by September.

Boohoo.

In the meantime I have this class (Methods of Teaching English), the next class (teaching Health), April and May are "free" (haha), then I "retake" Theory & Development. (The class I blew off in December. Grr.) I have until July to finish my Japanese (BYU Independent Study) which is good. All that's left is the 3 classes associated with Student Teaching.

I also have to take a bunch of online "prep tests," submit a boatload of nonsense to my online portfolio & take the CSET (English teacher test for CA). There are 4 tests and I'm taking two this weekend. Yikes. Pray for me.

So. I'm kind of busy.

On top of all that...  I've had some issues, breakthroughs and blessings come my way for Crackle. It's too soon to talk about publicly but it should be a good thing for all of us, especially him. (It's one of those heartbreak moments as a mom, however.)

So. Yeah, I'm a slacker but I am not a failure... Failure is not an option for me.

and here is a blog-blast from the past to tie you over...

Beauty Top 5 & SOS 1/40

It's that time again. Season of Sanctification OR the 40-days-before-Easter-that-Kat-tries-to-be-perfect-at-everything. Note the word "tries" because obviously that is not going to happen. But then that is the point of the Atonement which is, of course, the point of Easter (no, not the chocolate or the hidden eggs or the scary big bunny garbage...) so it's all good. I don't really want to show my Track Progress but I am tracking myself. The point it is really that I have an agenda and am, again, trying to establish my routines so that I can function optimally in all areas of my life.

I'll share that soon. Maybe. 

Yeah. I'm dreaming but it's a good dream. Eventually I will make progress. Probably after all my kids are gone, but for now life is actually easier with just three kids. Not a lot easier, just easier. Where was I?

Because it's Tuesday (and I am behind on posts but will catch up...) My topic for today is Beauty and I want to share my favorite beauty tips that I am using/applying right now.

So here it is: 

1. Adding self-tanner to my facial moisturizer.

I read about adding self-tanner to my nighttime moisturizer to slowly start adding color to your face for  the spring/summer seasons. I thought this was brilliant. Since I'm not so good at moisturizing at night I have been doing it both morning and night (when I remember to do it at night). 
This picture shows the self-tanner (top), Mary Kay Day Solution (which provides spf 25) & my day moisturizer.

2. Adding self-tanner to my body lotion. 

Basically the same idea as the facial lotion only now I won't be ghost-ish when it's time to break out the swimsuit again... haha!

3. Eye cream

Mary Kay Firming Eye cream is amazing. Works on the wrinkles and dark circles. 
Love this stuff... And the right way to apply is with the ring finger.

4. It's gotta be the hair! 

I have been playing with Velcro rollers, my blow dryer, my curling iron, etc. etc. I am also kind of excited about how long my hair is getting (although I am in desperate need of a cut and color right now)!

5. Minimalist makeup.

I would love to be able to get away with wearing just lipstick like my mom did when I was growing up but apparently I am too much of a diva/Glam girl to do it. So I have come up with a lipstick/blush/mascara look that I'm good with. I have a lot of makeup "toys" to play with so every day is fun. This look is lipstick, a dark burgundy which I have also used on my cheeks & two coats of waterproof mascara. I like the waterproof because the wax to make it waterproof dries and curls your lashes at the same time.

Physical Devotion

Several years ago I went to the Temple seeking answers to our financial dilemmas which have always been a struggle and challenge for us. The answer I received confused me. I was told to "Exercise." I kind of "argued" with that because I could not see or understand how this would help. I knew I was out of shape and lacked energy and thought maybe this was the connection. Either way I struggled with this directive and kicked against it for a long time.

I tried. I tried often. I fail at consistency which is evident from the fact that I have to write four blog posts today to be caught up. I hate this about me and am always trying to be better about it but it is really just something I struggle with. 

I believe this will always be an issue. My father claims that it is my struggle with self-discipline that causes my inconsistency. Maybe. I have been accused of being lazy but I disagree with this because when it comes down to it I rise to the occasion. Also, I don't think it's about my lack of ability, or lack of desire it's more a lack of energy. 

I have always struggled with depression and all the physical issues that come with that. I know I struggled in different times in my life where I can see that depression ruled my life but had no idea that's what was going on. Depression was neither recognized nor treated the way it is now. My ancestors basically self-medicated, which was the common way to deal with this dis-ease back in the day.

I was a severe naysayer when it came to the early claims of Fibromyalgia among my friends. What it looked like to me was just another way to say "depression," because many of the same symptoms accompany depression. But now I can say I am a true believer in both the side effects of Depression as well as the different kinds of symptoms that come with Fibromyalgia. I have both. Whether one beget the other I'm not sure. I actually believe my Fibro was triggered by a Shingles attack that was not treated quickly enough and just lingered until now I consistently feel like crap.

Feeling like crap is not about being lazy or low motivation or lack of energy. It's about sore muscles that make no sense. It's about feeling sharp or "prickly" pain that makes no sense. Fibromyalgia is like having a limb removed but still feeling the itch. The itch however is more of a pain, an ache or like someone is torturing you with stick pins. Yeah. I get that.

Still, I feel this drive to exercise. I want to do it. I am surprised, really Shocked! that I like running. I have been doing C25K for a bit and it's amazing. For the first time in my life I LOOK FORWARD to going running -- which I have mentioned for me is more like walk-jogging or Wogging. (Walgging?) I can't really get past Week 1 but I still like it. I am thrilled if I can go Walgging at least once in a week! Thrilled! This is more than I have ever done in my entire life!

When I was a teen I was diagnosed with Caustic Chondritis which I basically interpreted as the Wimpy-mans asthma. Basically whenever I ran, or walked too fast or worked too hard my chest would swell up, get tight and actually cause me PAIN! It was hard to breathe. I still have this but I can do the Walgging without it bothering me as long as I stay on a level surface. I still consider this a Wimpy excuse.

I am actually harder on myself than others are on me.

Last week was difficult. I don't want to whine on and on about how much pain I had or how tired I felt or whatever because it is what it is, all I'm saying is that I barely sufficed in my capacity as a mom and family member and I have learned to forgive myself for this. 

I ran one day. One. Day. This made me sad. I did no strength training at all. I don't know what is going on but I increased my Gabapentin to three pills on another day (usually I take 2 pills 4 days/week and 3 pills 2 days/week and I just increased it to 3 days/week). We'll see if this helps. I felt pretty good yesterday but I also took caffeine twice. Meh. I don't want to have to rely on that to function. I timed my pain relievers to every four hours pretty much throughout the day and I managed to NOT fall asleep! AND I actually Made Dinner for the first time in a few days (since Thursday? --I did start the Split Pea Soup on Saturday, & Superman finished it). 

Beh. This existence ticks me off.

I think increasing my activity is supposed to help with the Fibro but occasionally that backfires so I have to be careful. Lame. 

I have decided to start Yoga. I'd like to do it every day but for now I'm going to shoot for 3 days per week. I have a 10 Minute Yoga DVD and that is totally do-able. I worry about doing it "wrong" but I'll just have to take my chances. I am flexible so I have that going for me. 

I will continue to do my Walgging as often as I can, I am shooting for 2 days per week and if I have to do Week 1 over and over and over, then Oh. Well. LOL. 

And, I also plan to do the strength training at least one day a week. I will have to stick with my 2 lb weights for the time being and build up. 

Grrr. It bugs me to be so Wimpy!

So the GOAL for this week is to:
1: Yoga 3-7 days.
2: C25K 2-3 days.
3. Weights 1-3 days.

(The first number is the "realistic" goal, the second number is the "desired" goal. Baby steps.)

I feel good about this and in my pondering yesterday at church I felt that God has something in store for me and just by being obedient I/We will be blessed. I believe this. I believe that God Loves Me and His ideas are beyond what I can comprehend. IF I Believe that God spoke to Me then I need to Listen!