The thing about people being sick and getting the opportunity to say goodbye is that, well, it's heartbreaking and kind of intense. I thought it might be easier since losing my brothers & niece unexpectedly was kind of, well, wretched.
It sucks, by the way. Either way, it sucks.
So I remember what he said to me the last time I saw him and he gave me a hug. He told me to Be Good.
I don't know what he meant exactly so today I have come up the ways I try to "be good" and let my FIL know (whereever he is) that I heard him.
1. The Golden Rule
I have talked about my Golden Rule-ish-ness before. This is about judging others mostly, but it's also about tolerance and how you treat people. Unfortunately, I think I treat people in a way they don't like and it's because that's how I want to be treated. It's a conundrum but I stick with it because I keep trying to do it right.
2. Forgive others & Yourself
Forgiveness is vital to human happiness, in my opinion, of course. I don't understand holding grudges. I just don't. Some of the most important people you need to forgive are your parents. There are some unforgivable acts (most of which are sexual in nature, perpetrated against children) but for the most part your parents really Really did/do their best with what they were given. This includes their own quirks, idiosyncrasies, flaws, brain damage & etc. they get from their parents... and so on, and so on and so on... because you will pass those on to your children & do you want them to forgive you for being an idiot? Then you should forgive your parents.
Forgiving yourself can be tricky because I know I hold myself to a different standard. It's my standard. My expectations of myself. I disappoint myself often (hello? did this post go up on 2/17 as planned? No...) but especially when you suffer from a chronic ailment (physical, mental, marital...) it's important to cut yourself a little slack.
3. Kindness RAOK or maybe not R
Random Acts Of Kindness, maybe not Random. Purposeful Acts Of Kindness. Both. Sometimes it's awesome to be out and about and see an opportunity to do something for someone, that's Random. Maybe, if you're like me, you have limited (physical, mental, emotional) resources so your Acts Of Kindness must be planned, budgeted & opportunities created. Those are Purposeful.
Either way it's about thinking about others before yourself, or in spite of yourself.
This leads to happiness.
4. Do It Anyway
Do it anyway. What is it? All the things you don't want to do. Do those things.
5. Keep your arrows pointed out
|yes, imma bein grate artiste some'day.|
Think of others comfort before your own and you will find your own happiness. It's weird, but it's true. The more you focus on your own crud the less happy you are. Believe me there is someone, many someone's that are worse off than you and things can Always get worse. I know. It can.
Now YOU go and Be Good & tell me about it...