kmduvalois's Xanga

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Why is Love All You Need?

Yes, it's Valentine's Day. A Hallmark Card moment to hit or miss... AKA Single Awareness Day (SAD, really?) to which we owe some Priest back in the middle ages for intervening in behalf of true love and sappy soldiers. Thanks Mr.V. 

I have never been a huge fan of V-day. Until I got married I only had one time in my life when I actually had a Valentine and that was/is an ...awkward memory now. [insert hysterical laughter]

But Love? I am a huge fan of Love and have delved into the mystery of that nonsense several times, once was permanent and pretty much it for me. But why? What's the deal with this emotional crap anyway? 

Well, I'm glad you asked friend, glad you asked...

1. Love is the ultimate motivator.
People rob, steal, kill, jump through fiery hoops, swim through shark-infested waters, etc. etc. for Love. What  the ...? Why bother? Well, apparently without love we would die, for one. Babies without physical love die. Also, it feels good. 

So they say...which leads to another nice thing about love...

2. Love enhances physical intimacy.
That's a nice way to say it, right? Basically we like how love makes us feel both emotionally AND physically. Which is a good thing to perpetuate the species. 

3. We feel validated as a human.
I am not exactly sure why this is true, but I know it is true. (Hey, I'm a LIT major not a PSYCH major!) Also, the emotion of love is universal. In some cases the lack of love (maternal/paternal) can cause such deep emotional scarring that some poor souls never recover (Hello Mr. Serial Killer), also rejection from someone we believe we love, or that we believe loves us can be so traumatically scarring the accepting real love is difficult. 

The truth is that most of us are more loved than we are aware. There are some that you may not know that love you and care for your well-being and you don't even know about it; the tree-hugging, animal-rescuing, Do-Gooding types. I like those people because generally you can count on them when the chips are down. Really, they love you. Maybe not in the I-want-to-hug-you-and-kiss-you-and-perpetuate-the-species-with-you; aka Romantic kind of way but it's love and it does count for something. Yes it does, stop arguing!

4. Love means we aren't alone and we aren't lonely.
Except, of course, that's not completely true. Actually the worst kind of relationship to be in is one where you feel lonely but you are not alone. Now is when we talk about self-love, no not that kind, but believing in yourself and believing in your own values regardless of what others do. 

I think people believe this Love-Lie and that worries me. Being alone is not the worst thing in the world. Being lonely just might be, however. Going with the Beatles theme I'm going to mention "Eleanor Rigby" here... All the lonely people, where do they all come from... All the lonely people, where do they all belong? The song mentions people who are alone but that doesn't mean they are lonely. It's assumed. However, there are millions around us that do feel lonely either because they are alone or because they are lonely. They are not the same. 

5. Love is not the same in every language.

English is my native language and we have a very poor vocabulary for the feeling of Love. It is difficult to put emotions into words but I found a few fun ones...

Retrouvailles (French) — Literally translated as "rediscovery," retrouvailles is the happiness of reuniting with someone after a long separation.

Onsra (Boro language of India) — There are several ways to love in Boro, and onsra, or the bittersweet "to love for the last time."

Kokoro kara (Japanese) — "from the heart" but that translation doesn't do justice because in Japan your "kokoro" is your inner being. It is akin to loving with your "whole soul."

I hope that on this day that celebrates romantic love that everyone feels loved in some way. I am 
a bit bothered  by a "holiday" that celebrates "coupleness" when really, "Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you... in time - It's easy. All you need is love, all you need is love..."

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