Balancing Act

I’ve noticed that I’ve been decidedly more whiney this week. I figured it out. Wanna hear it?

Too bad. Here it is.

I am alone.

Superman and Princess left on Friday. She is not coming back. He won’t be back until Sunday or Monday. I’m expecting Monday.

We are adjusting.

You know there are studies that prove that humans go through physiological changes when their environment changes. Children are prone to reacting subconsciously to these changes and those with special needs are especially susceptible to dramatic mood fluctuations when there are any modifications to their schedule or environs.

I love the Thesaurus.

So this week I have been flying solo. Snap seems okay with it. Crackle is on constant meltdown and even Pop is moody. I am feeling flexed and stretched to the max and experiencing some mild panic-attack-like occurrences.

Miss him much? Seems like it. You know it’s not like I didn’t appreciate my husband before but really I just feel imbalanced. I feel like one of those circus performers that balance on top of a big rubber ball on their tippy toes. Oh and just toss a few more balls on there for me to juggle while we’re at it. Sure! Why not?

It makes sense to me that I feel off because I’m doing it all this week. No wonder I feel a little overwhelmed. Snap wants a social life, Crackle is, well, Crackle… and Pop is doing football and that takes a lot of time and dedication. I love football and I like that he loves it. I like that he wants to participate in a sport. Snap is usually really great about helping but he is 15 ½ so… Do I have to explain that?

Crackle :::sigh:::

I just want him to be happy and successful. 

I want him to stop getting in his own way.

The bottom line is I like being married. I miss my husband. I think he is a good man. I think he is a good dad. I think he is a good husband. I miss him. The kids miss him.

And actually, I think he’s better than good. He amazes me with his tenacity. Everyone else has dropped from exhaustion and he will still be going. 

I trust him.

Today I am thankful for my spouse. It’s not about whether or not I can do it alone (because I am doing it) but I don’t want to do it alone. It’s harder alone and I’m glad I don’t have to most of the time.