Today I woke up angry.
I was angry at myself because I could not get up to get Jacob (aka Crackle) off to school on time.
I was angry at myself because I did not get my blog post written and posted in the time I wanted to.
I couldn’t even drum up the gumption to say nothing
That annoyed me.
I spent most of this last week helping DD#2 (aka Princess) with her school work—the last of the high school classes that needed to be completed online for her diploma.
I have been knocking myself out over Government, Econ, Short Stories and Forensic Science. She has also been working hard and we got it all done.
I am also going to school and I have a final tomorrow. I got all my assignments done except for an Author Study (book report for grownups!) and the Final Exam.
But it brings me to the two things I have not talked about but that are a part of this project because they are a part of me.
I am afraid to commit. I admit it. For so many years I was strapped to my home, my chores, my children my spouse… I felt controlled by laundry, cleaning, preparing meals, caring for children… and then I had Jacob.
I am NOT lazy. I hate that word. I am also not undisciplined, however I do procrastinate. I will admit that fault—if you will—but I am not lazy.
As a matter of fact I found two of my books on procrastination last week when I was sorting through the bookshelves.
I’ll get around to them …sometime.
One of the reasons I wanted to take on a daily blog was so I could express my frustrations (read annoyances & anger) and figure them out. Another reason was because I keep making excuses and I want the excuses to stop keeping me from what I really want to do. If I just make it a habit to write every day and JUST DO IT! Then the issues of commitment and “laziness” will take care of themselves.
Or something like that.That’s what I believe anyway.