Always Blogging

I keep thinking “I blogged that,” but really it’s all in my head. No. Really. I blog in my head and it fails to show up on my blog… what’s up with that? LOL

Always so many things on my mind.

We moved. Long story, don’t want to talk about it but we are now in a tiny (for us) house in “downtown” Acton (which isn’t saying too much because we have no stoplights in this town and a possible total population of 4,000) about two blocks from the park, which I admit is nice. The yard is beautiful, lots of foliage, greenery & the gardener is part of our rent! Also, there is a blocked portion that someone created for a vegetable garden. We are still growing tomatoes and zucchini! Oh, and fruit trees!

I am still organizing. My downstairs, including the KITCHEN is good to go, except we apparently have too many DVDs. Not that that’s a big surprise. Our DVD shelf died during the move (totally fell apart! BOO!) so I found another one at the local thrift store (for a town of 4,000 we actually have two thrift stores!) that I like more than the old one but it’s not quite big enough so the DVDs and CDs are still all over the place.

We don’t have TV. Our landlord does not want us to do DirecTV and we are not thrilled with Time Warner Cable company so we have decided not to “get” TV (and no, no antenna will pick anything up out here… we are lucky to have cell phone service!) but are looking at This Totally AwesomeBlu-ray Player that has Google TV! Complete with Google Chrome browser! But it’s on the backburner until the funding comes through for it… which may or may not be until Christmas. (Boo.)

So I’m missing my shows.

I have been able to watch my CSIs (because I watch ALL the CSIs) and other CBS shows (like The Big Bang Theory) on my laptop, but the other networks (like AMCs the Walking Dead) aren’t working as well. It’s called “buffering” BEH! Anyway, going to work on that this weekend.

In other news… I started writing again. This time I just started from scratch on a story about my mother… It’s more intense than my usual “romances” and really more of a “Women’s Fiction” than a romance. It was in my head so I started it.

I am noticing a “week on,” “week off,” trend with my depression. I was able to change my meds back to capsules (instead of the tablet) and I am glad for that. The tablets weren’t, um, digesting. And don’t ask me how I know that… The weather doesn’t help because the more cloudy/gloomy it is the harder time I have getting it together. I am still managing to get my kids to school (not so much early morning seminary, beh!) and I’m making meals and doing laundry. But the rest of the “organizing” is kind of on hold. I did get our closet tidied (meaning clothes hung up) but there is a lot to do and most of it is my stuff. My sewing & books & knitting & scrapbook stuff, etc. I have already pared down and organized it; I just need to find places.

We also downsized from four couches to one. I saved my two tables, one an antique from my father’s family dating back at least three generations (for a poor California/Canadian family, that’s a thing) and the matching sideboard, with stratagem. We are down from five bookshelves to three (only two of which are actually holding “books”). That’s a thing considering I am a “book person.”

School is going. August, September; October’s classes were Teacher Education and I have decided I do not like those classes. It has more to do with the assignment process than it does the content, however. I am hoping my future professors are more organized (like my English Professors are!) but not sure how that will pan out. The assignment process seriously confused me. It was like having three classes at once. Not fun. Also in September I somehow ended up with two classes. The schedule is supposed to be one per month but the first Teacher Education (TED) class is eight weeks and either my advisor did not know that or did not care so I ended up with a Lit class on top of the *very confusing* TED class. Oh, and that was the month we moved, as well as taking our oldest child to college (and all that That implies!) and our children at home started school. Yeah. Busy month. Not good. I was not happy with the outcome of that. Boo.

This month (which is already considered my November class) is 20^th Century World Literature and I’m already enjoying it immensely. I am actually EXCITED about the research (or comparative) essay I will have to write for it! I know now that I was made to do research an analysis. That is why my December class (which begins the week of Thanksgiving) is going to be AWESOME! It is Literary Critique. Yahoo! (I realize this makes me a nerd, but I don’t care!)

My children are happy. My husband is busy. I am thriving (may not be happy about it, but am successful nonetheless) so I would call the last few months a success even if I kicked against it as hard as I could. I am hoping for a steadier blogging season as I am constantly blogging in my head and some of it is rather good. LOL

Benjamin Franklin and Ralph Waldo Emerson: Self-Help Gurus

“While some would name Benjamin Franklin as the American breakthrough thinker, that distinction more justly belongs to Ralph Waldo Emerson. Where Franklin counseled prudence and moral circumspection, not unlike an Old World uncle, Emerson proclaimed the ecstatic universe and intimated that the unloosed American self was especially well-placed to lead the celebration.” (Valiunas)

When it came to progressive thinking and application, Benjamin Franklin was the resource for the self-made man. Emerson, on the other hand, lived off his wife’s money. Both eschewed organized religion, both believed in the American Dream. Franklin wrote The Autobiography (Franklin) for his son, but also for everyone. He did believe in the value of virtue. Emerson also believed in improvement of the self, but for only for the benefit of the self. Are they both right? Are they both wrong? Would they agree or disagree? Their literary works show their personal beliefs regarding virtue and personal values and benefit to self or to mankind.

In “The Autobiography” (Franklin231) Benjamin Franklin lists thirteen virtues he believes are vital for success. He also discusses his attempts at self-perfection and his methodology for tracking his progress. Franklin stated that, “My intention being to acquire the Habitude of all these Virtues.” (Franklin 285) Listing them in order of importance to him he began his daily practice of reviewing his actions and marking his progress.

Emerson, on the other hand, opposes the idea of values believing that virtue is a personal decision. In his essay, “Self Reliance,” Emerson defines how to find morality.  “Men do what is called a good action, as some piece of courage or charity, much as they would pay a fine … Their works are done as an apology… My life is not an apology, but a life.”  Virtue is intrinsic with Emerson. “What I must do, is all that concerns me, not what the people think.” Emerson, “is best remembered, after all, as an advocate of the self against the claims of society. However, Emerson believed that education is a lifelong practice of discovering or receiving relations that attach us to one to another and to the world. This practice helps us to develop self-knowledge and self-transformation.” (Williams)

He was not an advocate of conformity. “For non-conformity the world whips you with its displeasure.” (Emerson 537) He believed that men should trust themselves and allow the discomfort of others to “put on and off as the wind blows.” (Emerson 537) “Although he did focus on the self, he recognizes that the improvement of each individual eventually leads to the improvement of society as a whole.” (Williams)

Many contend that our forefathers, particularly Benjamin Franklin, established the United States upon Christian values. While it is true Franklin describes a set of values or virtues he believes will lead a person to moral perfection in his autobiography, these virtues were not necessarily based on Christianity. His morality was based on rational thought from an Enlightened mind.

Franklin writes, “Tho’ I seldom attended any Public Worship, I had still an Opinion of its Propriety, and of its Utility when rightly conducted.” He had difficulty finding a preacher with which he agreed. Upon hearing a scripture from Phillippians regarding that which is “of good report, if there be any virtue… think on these things.” (Franklin 283; Philippians 4) While disagreeing with the preacher on what those values might be he came to the conclusion to embark on the “Project of arriving at moral Perfection.” (Franklin 284)  Even though he was not comfortable with any organized religion, Franklin did not completely dismiss God in his life. He wrote, “And conceiving God to be the Fountain of Wisdom, I thought it right and necessary to solicit his Assistance for obtaining it.”

At the time of the Enlightenment many were questioning organized religions and the necessities of priests and rites. More exposure to religious texts led many to question what they believed. In addition the advancement of the sciences led many to question what had been blatantly taught for centuries as truths. Emerson’s writings expressed, “Among the impedimenta blocking access to the true self was that old-time religion—specifically, Christianity, whose original spirit had been deformed by its outworn institutions.” (Valiunas) “Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind.” (Emerson 535)

Ethics, morality, virtue, values, whatever name you choose to give them, are part of our collective American experience and societal acceptance of certain behaviors. Franklin wrote, “In this Piece it was my Design to explain and enforce this Doctrine, that vicious Actions are not hurtful because they are forbidden, but forbidden because they are hurtful… it was therefore every one’s Interest to be virtuous, who wish’d to be happy.”  Emerson writes, “And truly it demands something godlike in him who has cast off the common motives of humanity, and has ventured to trust himself for a task-master.” (Emerson 544)

Franklin probably would not be surprised that, “in our present times the deepest cultural divide in America is between the secular believers in science and the faithful who believe in God. Nor would it have surprised him that in the world at large the great divide now is between tolerant liberal democracy and militant religious fundamentalism.” (Weinberger)

The idea that values, virtue, morality and ethics need to go hand in hand with religion is not something these authors would agree with. Choosing to be a good person for personal benefit, for the benefit of mankind or for a higher cause that is personal to you is justifiable and probably admirable. While Emerson would encourage perfection of self for the sake of self, but for the benefit of all; Franklin would also support self-improvement for both selfish and unselfish reasons. While they may not agree in practice or pursuit, they would agree that improvement of self is an advantageous endeavor.

           

Works Cited

Baym, Nina. The Norton Anthology of American Literature. 7^th ed. New York. 2008.

Emerson, Ralph Waldo. “Self Reliance” The Norton Anthology of American Literature. 7^th ed. New York, NY. 2008. 533-550.

Franklin, Benjamin. “The Autobiography.” The Norton Anthology of American Literature. 7^th ed. New York, NY. 2008. 231-292.

Valiunas, Algis. “Ralph Waldo Emerson, Big Talker” Commentary. Sep2010, Vol. 130 Issue 2, 55-58

Weinberger, Jerry. “Benjamin Franklin: Philosopher of Progress” Good Society Journal. 2008, Vol. 17 Issue 1 20-25 Web September 24, 2011.

Williamson, Amy Wesley J. Null. “Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Educational Philosophy as a Foundation for Cooperative Learning.” American Education History Journal; Spring/Summer 2008, Vol. 35 Issue ½, 381-392 Web September 24, 2011.

First of all...

Several years ago my friend and I joined an online group called “Crappy Advice.” The premise was , obviously, that the group would give you tongue in cheek advice to your posted problems. I proceeded to complain about some issues I was having with the PTA I was currently involved with at the time. The response I received began with, “First of all, you have too many children, get rid of a few.”

Yeah. I laughed. A lot. And now, whenever I feel overwhelmed all I have to say is, “First of all…” and my friend gets it! I have five children. All mine. All delivered naturally with virtually no medication (I’ll save the birth stories for another post, ugh!). All with the same father, to whom I am still married, happily. (20 years last January—ThankYouVeryMuch!)

My family is my life. They are the reason I was fired from my last “job.” They are also the reason I continually keep trying to bring more income into our home. It seems, this economy NotHelping!, there is never enough. For the medication, the dental work—including orthodontics, the glasses and contacts, the haircuts, the clothes, the shoes, the backpacks… And now with a driver in the house (and another potential driver) the car insurance and the need for another vehicle. Not to mention the food for my bottomless-pit boys! My girls are fine eaters themselves, as well as I am; and Dad. Well, Dad is in a class by himself when it comes to eating! The expenses are defeating.

Besides the expenses are the emotional and mental task it is to raise kids. I thought raising little kids was tough, which is, in a different way. Also, if you have a special-needs child, as we do, the challenge can be massive. Today is a good day.  It’s still summer break for us and everyone is still asleep (except for DS#1 who is at Football practice—hello two-a-days!). Every day is an adventure!

The pressure to be a good parent is enormous. My idea of good parenting is having a good relationship with my children so that they know no matter what I love them. I also believe in a bit of a loose leash. I try to trust them until they break that trust. Truth be told I am sure that some think I’m not a good parent but fortunately I only worry about what I think (and God, but that’s another post as well). I have been lucky in that my husband and I generally agree on discipline and expectation. There are few differences but for the most part we are united. That helps.

It is strange to me to reflect on our family when the kids were all little, in elementary school or even before and see the progression in parenting needs and style. It is very different to have four teens at home than it was to have four preschoolers. I am glad I enjoyed my children when they were little and glad I can enjoy them now. With all the challenges and trials I would not get rid of any, not even a few.

It's a blog

So.

I’ve been reading some other people’s blogs and I realized something.

I try too hard.

I guess being an English Major and all, and wanting to get my MFA and PhD in English and Writing I’m obsessed with my sentence structure, grammar and whatnot.

Huh.

Turns out I don’t have to.

As a matter of fact I can end a sentence with a participle.

Take that!

I also found out that I should have a theme. Something I talk about consistently; cooking, sewing, fashion, photography, design, crafts.

Huh.

Not gonna happen.

I just like to babble. Babbling! (ala Meg Ryan in “I.Q.”)

I woke up yesterday morning with this entirely new concept for my Ranch Hand story.

Most of it stays the same, but I got a first line.

“I fell in love in five days. The Truly, Madly, Deeply kind. Ridiculous? Maybe for some, but it really happened and I’ll tell you how. It all started when …”

And his line.

“I fell in love at first sight. I was sent to pick up a late-comer, a girl, the freebie visitor from the promotion. I figured the hottie brunette in front of the train station was my girl. Her back was to me and when she turned around, her lips in a pucker behind her compact, it hit me. Hard. But I chalked (is it ‘chalked’ or ‘chocked’?) it up to Lady Lust and dismissed it. But it was love.”

And it goes on like that. I’m thinking I drop the suspense/killer story. But whatever. Still undecided about that.

I felt the thin, taut line between sanity and insanity today.

I have too much to do and not enough people to do it. I’m one person with two hands, two feet and one brain. No money and very little motivation.

I keep thinking about the “assignments” I have that God gave me and wondering why I “kick against the pricks” and don’t just drop everything and Get On That. I’m scared.

“I’m looking down, Shrek!”

Diet Schmiett!

So I posted about my troubles with the Dukan diet on my Facebook status and realized (from the comments) that my “dieting” philosophy was totally unclear. So here I am.

I do not believe in “diets” per se. I believe in creating or recreating healthy habits. This includes diet, i.e.; what you eat, and exercise (which should always be included in a healthy lifestyle since we have become a computer/cellphone/television culture).

I have always been unhappy with my body because I’m normal. Media wants me to be unhappy so ever since Twiggy became popular (and Farrah, and Cheryl, and Heidi, and …you get the picture) the idea of being “stick thin” has been the yearning for many women. Lame. It’s not even healthy! And men prefer curves, some curves anyway. So it’s all about women judging each other. Judging has to be an entirely different blog.

So I decided that I was going to choose to be happy with my body. No diet worked for me (and I have tried them all at some point). Pretty sure I gave away all my “skinny clothes” that I had been saving for 10+ years (okay, more but since I’m only 25 I’m not giving the real number!), well I think I did because I cannot find them now. Now that I am skinny, okay well skinnier.

The last “diet” I actually tried was Weight Watchers. I calculated my points. I bought a little calculator that helped me figure out my points consumption and kept track of my daily points use. In three months I lost five pounds. Maybe. I was not happy.

Then my BFF (PLLAATSABIDSA—we now know what the “SA” is for!) found this program called The Metabolism Miracle. The premise is that many of us have tweaked metabolisms. Either because of our eating habits and/or genetics, but as a result our bodies do not metabolize carbohydrates correctly. Her program was designed to FIX that problem. She has an online test to see if you fall into what she calls Metabolism B. I took the test. I probably scored the highest anyone can! My suspicions were confirmed. I can’t lose weight on a “normal” or “regular” diet. Diets do not work for me. Counting calories won’t work. I have to eat certain foods in certain quantities and/or at certain times of the day in order to metabolize correctly. I KNEW IT!

I started The Metabolism Miracle in September 2009 and by November I had dropped 30+ pounds. I got to eat cheese, and peanuts, and whipped cream! The only thing I missed was bread, but my incredible BFF figured out how to make a low-carb pseudo bread that satisfied. I continued to follow the plan but only dropped another five pounds but shrank about two pants sizes. Can you say WOW! I was thrilled. But nothing I did would budge me another 15 to 20 lbs that I still wanted to lose. Well, I say nothing but I still was not exercising which I know is my downfall.

I started a weight training program and continued to shrink but still no more weight loss. That was okay. It was the shrinking I was more interested in, but then that stopped to because I stopped exercising regularly and have had a really hard time getting back into it.

Then we heard about the Dukan Diet.