kmduvalois's Xanga

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Why I Write.

Lately, when I've had time, I've been finding that I don't want to write. It's bugging me. I am a writer. Still, when my kids ask me what I want to do when I grow up I say, Be a Writer! It's just part of who I have always been. So maybe I'm having an identity crisis? I don't know but lately, I don't wanna...

I don't like feeling like this. I don't know how to make it go away. It's not so much that I don't know what to write (I have so many ideas it's mind-boggling) or even that I don't have time to write (because I believe you make time for what's important) but really, why write? Like what I have to say or how I want to say it is not important. I don't mean in the grand scheme of things, I realize that as a Romance writer I am telling love stories with happy endings. I like that. I like Romantic Comedies. I just don't know if it's important anymore. It used to be, and I want that back.

The reason I want to write romance (here we go) is because I do believe in happy endings. I don't mean the kind like in fairy tales, that's nonsense, but in the kind where a girl meets a boy and the stars align and fireworks go off and they prance off into the fading sunset... which turns into a harsh desert landscape filled with dirty diapers and unpaid bills. *snort* Then that sweet young couple has a "Come to Jesus" moment and they fall in love again and again and again... or maybe they don't. Maybe that couple experiences a hiccup in life that skews the HEA. Maybe one of them dies. So then we have another story. Woman meets man... 

I believe in love. I believe in "true love." I don't believe in "Soul Mates." I believe that time, place, personal preparation and experience are all part of the picture. I believe some people never feel that "true love" feeling and that makes me sad. I also believe that some people feel it several times a day (or it seems that way). And eventually, I'd like them to have an HEA as well. Or maybe, I'll write a story about a woman that just needs to learn to love herself. I like those too. Not every woman needs a man. Even in my head!

So is that important? Does it matter? Should I just write them down anyway because they're there? I think I should. I just hope I'm not wasting my time. And maybe that is what's discouraging me. Maybe I'm just afraid. I'm just afraid I'm wasting my time. 

So, go ahead. Please tell me I'm not. 

I'll wait...

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