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Friday, June 21, 2013

Benefits of Whining

So I know I complain a lot and I've decided I need to stop. I first want to explain Why I complain and whine so much. I am of the thinking that if you know why you do something it is easier to figure out how to stop doing that thing, that is if you want to stop. I want to stop being a whiner, it's annoying, so here is my explanation.

I whine for the following reasons;

1. I have found (been taught) that if I don't say something then everyone thinks I'm fine and puts expectations on me that I cannot possibly fulfill. That kind of stress freaks me out. If I tell you how crappy I feel then you will be more understanding when XXX doesn't happen.
I don't even know if this is true. I suppose I could just say, "I can't/won't be doing XXX because it's not something I can add to my plate right now," rather than whining about how crappy I feel.
What do you think? Think that'll work?

2. I am one of those people that once I say something out loud I can handle it. If I say it then it's real and not just my imagination.
Okay, if that sounds cray then oh well. I know when I say things out loud then suddenly the stress/pressure of knowing the thing leaves me. I've shared it and thus shared the burden. I think this is a little selfish on my part and it might be okay to some extent but I know I put stuff out there sometimes that make other people squirm. Not my intention! I'm just trying to cope with the thing and move on.

3. I don't feel heard. This is kind of in reference to #1 above. Maybe because I can't hear so well I think others aren't listening to me? Maybe it's just a mom thing because we all know kids don't listen. (LOL)

4. The truth is I don't like feeling lousy. I know I could be worse. I know people are out there fighting much harder (and deadlier) battles with their health than I am but I hate being weak, tired and unable to do things. I really hate it. I know when I talk about it (complain) that I'm releasing some of that negativity but I don't know what kind of impact it has on the hearers. I don't want to spread negativity. I'd like to be the kind of person that endures trials without complaining but I don't think I'm that kind of person. As I said, when I talk about it I release it and I feel better.

It's weird but that's why I complain.

Does that make me healthier than someone that never complains? I wonder.

5. If you hear me whining about stuff I'm sorry. I'm just going to put that out there now. I'm sorry if my whining brings you down. Maybe think of it as an act of service? I will strive to be less whiney but since I'm not always even aware of what I'm saying until I'm done I will just say right up front that I'm sorry for releasing my negativity on you.

And thank you for listening. Thank you for making me feel heard, cared about and like my burden is less because you let me share it with you.

I am more than willing to hear your complaints, fyi. That has always been true about me.
Being the Golden Rule girl and all, I am fine with being the listener and I don't judge. I know how freeing it can be to release the worry and burden of illness.

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