The point behind Fit Friday is for me to assess my eating and exercising goals for the week.
This week kind of stunk, partly because of my medicine; Gabapentin. I forgot what it does to me when I first start taking it. I was off of it for too long so it’s like starting over and that’s a bad idea. I need to be better about getting my medicines renewed on time. Pain-in-the-butt stuff. Meh. But if it stops me from going through this re-acclimation stage then it is worth it because this stinks. Period.
Also, yesterday and today I have had the 24-hour stomach flu. I don’t vomit very often and haven’t this time either but, yeah, the other end is giving me trouble. I was up until after 2 a.m. this morning. Just saying.
So that might be good for my weight but probably won’t matter, truthfully. My eating is all over the place. Superman wants cookies but guess who eats them? Well, the dough for sure. I know, I know, I shouldn’t but it’s so yummy! Also, I can’t seem to stay away from bread and other carbs. I need to find a balance. I need to figure out a way to get more vegetables and my way of choice is through juicing. The problem I’m having is that my veggies rot before I get the motivation to make a juice. Lame excuse, I know that. So this is my sounding board for pulling out the b.s. in my excuses. Call me on it! We bought a juicer, I can do this. I want to do it.
I also want a new blender so I can do smoothies. Our blender is at least as old as our marriage and at our last anniversary we celebrated 21 years. Unfortunately the kind we want/need to do the smoothies the best (i.e.; grinds up the veggies and fruits best) is a $300-$500 unit. Do you have that kind of cashola lying around? Yeah, neither do we. And what we did have has gone to car repair. Welcome to the lower middle class (or maybe the upper lower class?) peeps. It’s freaking fun down here!
Said nobody, ever.
I rode my bike on Saturday. Woohoo! I just about died doing it. I rode from our house in “Downtown” to the high school. It’s approximately 2+ miles in a mostly uphill climb. Easy peasy, I thought. I mean I rode up and down hills in Japan, I can do this. Um. Hello Katrina! That was freaking twenty-five years ago (give or take), five kids, +/- 30 lbs., and after six months walking all over London and Europe getting in some kind of “shape.” Granted I’m not totally out of shape but certainly not in my 21-year-old body!
I also did one day of strength training. That’s not enough. Two days of each would make me happy. That’s not a lot. I can do that. I can. I need to. I really need to. I need to step it up. I cannot do all the other things on my “list” if I’m not feeling good.
There is another aspect to this Fitness concept. I have to forgive myself. I need to be in tune with my body and make allowances for my challenges without being too easy on myself. I need to do a little every day to be stronger overall. Eating and exercise are how I plan to do that.
The entire idea of this “blogging everyday” is to better myself. To become my “true” self; who I know I can be, who I know I am. I have already outlined how to do that so now it’s a matter of Doing It. It’s not a surprise to inform you that I have issues with motivation. It’s not about commitment. I know when I make a commitment that I do it, I just basically do it my way. (Thus you see late blog posts now and then… okay more often than I like.)
However, I don’t make commitments because I know that my mood, my health, my psychological state, my time, etc. are sometimes not in my “control.” The only way I know how to bring that part of me under management is to live by routines. My routines are not established consistently and they currently do not seem to flow with my natural biorhythms (yes, I think that matters). Nor do they allow for lapses or flexibility. I am still figuring that out and it’s a constant process that is too slow for me. I mean this is something I’ve been trying to figure out since … um, most of my life.
So I guess I can’t expect it to change overnight but I’m as frustrated or more than I have been in the past with this seemingly inability to change in the manner I think is necessary. Yeah. See, that’s why I need to forgive myself but I make myself crazy. I’m still working on it, I have ideas, I have plans. This is the time. This is my time. I’m doing it. I am. It is what it is. And I will keep getting up until I figure out how to stay up and then? Be careful if you knock me down.