The point, I think, I had when starting to really write in this blog. Well, at least the goal to write every day was both an exercise in discipline as well as a pathway to personal authenticity.
Sometimes I call it being “honest” or possibly, “blunt.” I also consider my “Golden Rule”-ness as part of my personal authenticity. You might call it a form of integrity but it’s about me.
I was offended by the book Eat Pray Love and I think it’s because I did not understand the author’s point of view. I think I get it now. My initial reaction was that she was behaving selfishly and I still think that some of it was selfish. However, I see now that what she was searching for was her own authenticity. Somewhere along the way she either lost it or never had it. She moved along through her life making the decisions she thought she should be making because it’s what she was taught would make her happy. But she wasn’t happy.
I don’t think you must divorce your husband and travel around the world to find happiness. That’s what Elizabeth Gilbert did but that was her journey. An author I follow (stalk?) and admire blogged for a year. I am blogging through the odd number. Odd numbers. Blah.
Truthfully I have always been authentic for the most part. I think I lost some of it when I married (who does he want me to be?) and definitely when I had children. But I think that’s okay because there is a time in your life when it is so not about you! When you have children, especially when they are very young, it is totally about them. That’s how it should be.
But I lost me in there somewhere.
I didn’t lose that “bluntness” that has always been there. I did become a little more cautious with it because I seemed to insult people with my straightforward attitude and “this is what I think” commentary. Oops. Not my intention. I like to be played straight. So that’s what I do.
When I talk about regaining my authenticity I am talking about being true to myself. Finding that part of me that needs to impart to other humans. For some it is satisfying for them to serve their family, or maybe church members. I need more. I wish I didn’t. I wish I could just focus on laundry, cleaning and cooking and be satisfied; but I can’t. I just can’t. I tried.
So to become my authentic self means I write. It means that I help to empower women with self-confidence, belief and hope. It means that I work to help women embrace their beauty. It means I fight against whatever forces are there that are trying to keep me down. Real and imagined. I refuse to be dismissed. I refuse to be overlooked. I refuse to remain quiet.
Sorry world. You’ll just have to deal with me.
And what do I write besides philosophical (and occasionally whimsical) blog posts? Romance. Why? Because I think women (and men) deserve to be loved for who they are. True love.
My definition of “True Love” is another blog post because it’s complicated.
There was a time in my life when I might have settled for less, I didn’t. That inspires me. I really feel that if I can find true love and happiness than anyone can. Why do I think I’m special? I don’t know. I just know that settling for less than who and what you are is wrong.
Find your authenticity. Whatever it is. Find it, embrace it. It should not be a selfish thing. It may not appear self-less, but in the end if you are authentic then you will be a better…whatever. Friend, lover, mother, wife, sister, cousin, niece, etc. etc. You will be a force of good in a world that is increasingly more scary and more problematic. I want to inspire others to be authentic. I think there are some that just cannot do it and I’m sorry for them.
I have to be this way. I want to be this way. I love me this way.