kmduvalois's Xanga

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


I found this Yesterday after I wrote and posted my blog about Peace. Serendipitous? Yes, I think so.

Peace is why we want to be thin, why we want to be rich, why we want the object of our affections to make us whole, and peace starts with how we think. That’s what needs to change.” Lucy March @

I actually have no delusions about what being thin or being rich will bring me. I know those things have their own challenges. Bring it on! lol What I also know is that my dissatisfaction with myself is ABOUT myself. I don't feel healthy. So I know what I have to do to get that feeling. It isn't as if I haven't been there before, I have and that's part of the problem.

You know that saying, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels?” Yeah. It's true. Well, it's true For Me. That's what matters, what is true for me. I can see people eating their cake and cinnamon rolls knowing that I can't have that and be healthy. Some days not even a little. No, no cheating. It creates a vacuum and everything gets sucked in, the peanut butter cups, the cinnamon toast, the cupcakes the cookie dough; oy, the cookie dough! I can't do it because I automatically say FAIL! And it's over. That's it. Starting over has to be the next morning or the next Monday.

Today I ran. Yeah, you heard (read) me! I. Ran. I did Couch to Five K Week 1, Day 1 (heretofore referred to as C25K-W1D1). We'll see how it goes but I DID IT. I. Did. It! Me! Every PE teacher I have ever had has died of shock and is now rolling over in their graves! I also did it While Talking On The Phone! Not only was it not bad (Walk for four minutes, jog for one, walk four, jog one—totally doable!) but I Did. Not. Die. Nobody is more surprised than I am!
It is awesome.

As for being rich. I don't know what that feels like. And honestly I don't want to be rich, I just want to be comfortable. I have more to say about that but it belongs in a different post.

So today's beauty thought? If you have peace in your heart (the inside) it will reflect on the outside. Because it's really about confidence, not arrogance—that's false confidence, but really believing in yourself and knowing you are important. Knowing you deserve the best.
Because we all do. We all deserve the best but we have to put the effort into getting it. We have to believe we deserve it. I know this is true because I've done it before. That's why I know I can do it again.

I just want it to stick this time! 

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