So the disintegrated vertebrae in my neck have really been bothering me lately. My mom made a comment to me recently about the kinds of jobs I could get and said something about working the stock room being bad for my back. I had to scratch my head a bit over that one because I forgot that I frequently suffer from severe sciatica. So in addition to my aching back I also have a pain in the neck. Those two things keep me from doing a lot of physical activity. I do worry about exascerbating either problem and have been know to avoid things because I am "afraid" and that can be annoying, at best.
I am considering going to the dr's and asking them to do the "surgery" that was recommended to me years ago when the disintegrated vertebrae were discovered, but I am afraid of that too. I love rollercoasters, but they kill me. I end up in bed for days. I love to walk, I've walked all over Europe and Asia, but I'm "afraid" to now because it worsens my lower back pain and I end up in bed for days.
As a mother of five children being in bed for days is not a good thing.
One day and the kitchen is over-run with dishes, crumbs, left-out (and now trash) food, miscellaneous papers, even clothing, shoes and towels end up all over my kitchen if I'm not out there to curb it or clean it up. So being down and out for even a day is not a good thing.
So I take a lot of aspirin. This helps curb the pain but does not remove it entirely. I don't know what living "pain free" means anymore. Many people, including myself, think that a lot of my problems would or could be solved if I lost weight. I suppose that's true about my back, and my knees, but not my neck. I don't think losing weight would re-integrate my vertebrae. I actually don't know what they do, that's part of the fear. Of course. The not knowing is always a fear.
The idea of being down and out kind of frightens me too. Who will do it all? If I can't, who will? I have no idea so that's a legitimate fear.
I also believe my whacked out hormones contribute to my pain. Menopause sucks, just in case you were wondering. The hot flashes are not fun. Just this week I was HOT but my feet were ice cubes, for three days! That is not something I enjoy. It's possible that if I lost weight my hormones wouldn't be so whacky, but there aren't any guarantees on that either, considering my age.
This week I did something to help rectify my weight issues and one of those was to buy two new DVDs for working out at home. Both of them are circuit training, which I love because I tend to get distracted easily and lose interest. What was I talking about...??? Oh right, exercising. The other thing I got was a trial of Acai Berry and a gastric bulking agent. I love experimenting with my body. BTW, so far nothing has worked and there is no miracle out there. Bummer, huh.
Today I want to write. I'd really like to be left alone but I don't think that's going to happen. I have two teen daughters that think it's my job to cart them around. I have three boys that tend to think the same thing. They either want to be taken somewhere (that inevitably costs money) or they want someone to be picked up, which means more work for me.
And more work for me is never good. It's a pain in my neck!