So the last year has been a nightmare. Most days I can barely function. In that, lifting laundry baskets, making my bed, cleaning my bathroom, dusting and making dinner are about the extent of my abilities these days. Sometimes I can go for a walk to the park (about two blocks from my house) but not usually. It hurts so much I can barely move if I do.
We currently live in a two-story house and the stairs are a killer. I go down once, and up once (on bad days). My knees, my lower back, pins and needles down my right side along my shoulder blade. Fun.
They also call what I have post-herpetic neuralgia (literally "after chicken pox/shingles--a form of herpes--pain") and that's why I fight the Fibromyalgia diagnosis.
In the last year I have gained BACK 20+ lbs. It's killing me. I admit to abandoning my way of eating, my lifestyle, a little before and definitely after the latest (remember this is bout #3) Shingles attack. I comfort fed. I gave up trying and now, Now I am having an impossible time trying to get back into it. It sucks. Seriously.
There is a medication I can take that helps with the pain, it's called Gabapentin. I was on it for a bit, then I went off it because I didn't like the way it made me feel. Then I went back on it and it helped a lot, then I went off it again, when I went off all my medications. Ergo the last six weeks have been kind of bad. I am back on the Gabapentin as of two days ago. Yippee. I sure hope it puts me back in control of my abilities--let me emphasize ABLE-ness. I am hoping I can get back on my eating bandwagon and [cross-my-fingers] even exercising! That would be so awesome.
In the meantime, I am being kind to myself.
The things I am focusing on, for the most part, can be narrowed down to three areas:
1. Oxygen: getting exercise, moving, even if it's for 10 minutes. Put on my shoes and go outside. I have not been doing this and I need to do this.
2. My immunity: whether I believe I have Fibromyalgia or not is irrelevant to the fact that I do have a compromised immune system (which is evident by the fact that I got Shingles 3 times). It is imperative that I take my vitamins. & occasionally an immune boosting Airborne.
3. Calm: keeping calm through meditation (yes, I have incense), prayer, scripture study... it's all part of meditation for me. This helps me to focus on the important things in my life; family, writing and serving others.
Every day is a struggle and I never know how I'm going to feel from one day to the next. I know there are others that struggle with similar (and worse) health issues and I know I am not alone (feels like it sometimes though).
Right now, until I can predict and plan how I feel, I will continue to be kind to myself.