Grattitude.

I know that's spelled wrong. It's on purpose.

Almost two years ago I received a small notebook along with a Relief Society lesson on Gratitude. The goal was to list five things I am grateful for every day. 

I have been doing that almost every day ever since.

Through this time we lost my Father-in-law, a cousin, a friend's child, a good friend, our house... it has been a tough couple of years. 

Add to that the ever increasing needs of our son Crackle. His needs outweigh my patience on an almost daily basis. 

It has been a blessing to be able to look at the day ahead and think, "What am I grateful for?" and actually find things to write about.

I admit, some days it was a warm bed. Many days it was my wonderful children who are pretty good at picking up the slack when I'm having a bad day (with clinical depression and Fibromyalgia and almost chronic Shingles... I am in need many days).

I cannot tell you how amazing Snap is. He does so many things without complaining. If I could get him the moon I would, if he wanted it. He will make dinner (he is especially good at spaghetti!), he takes out the trash and he is my "muscle" when Crackle gets out of hand. He is my rock (when Superman's not home). I could not ask for a better son!

Princess is also a great comfort to me. She is leaving today (or tomorrow--lol--like me, she is not the most organized when it comes to packing) and I feel like a piece of me is breaking off. We like the same TV shows and movies. I asked her the other day, "Who will watch Once Upon a Time with me?" She recommended her friend, then asked if it was available on Hulu (it is) so we can at least discuss it. 
I might have to make more road trips to St. George than normal.

Don't get me wrong, I miss Sunshine. She is such an amazing young woman! I believe she resented my inability to be more than what I was and I'm sorry for that. I have been blown away by her grown-up choices, in the last few months especially! Maybe that's why I feel so distant. She doesn't need me anymore. That makes me sad.

But then I realize I still need my Mommy now and again so I guess that can't be true. And I'm grateful for the unbelievable Mom I have. She is the kindest, most thoughtful, CUTEST person I know. So many people that have to cut their family off because the relationship is toxic and I have the Best. Family. Ever.

I have five brothers. Two are waiting for me and I think about and miss them daily. I know they are busy and I know they are happy, but I still miss them. 

We have all definitely moved on in our lives with our own families but we still stay in contact one way or another (thank you RCS) and when we can visit it's nice.

Finally, I usually feel lots of gratitude for my husband. He is not perfect, but neither am I. We have grown a lot (sometimes painfully) over the last 20+ years together. We sync now more than not, which is huge. And he has a job. We have a roof over our heads in a town I LOVE! 
What's not to be grateful for?