I have finally decided on the “theme” for my blog. Yep, it’s The Meaning of Life. Yeah, that might be a rather broad area but really it’s about the Meaning of YOUR life, or MY life. I was trying to figure out how to encompass all the things that fascinate and pique my interest while at the same time what I could contribute to the mass that is blogosphere. I decided on Meaning because that was something that really hit me as was sitting at a desk for fifteen months answering the phone and filing paperwork in duplicate and triplicate. I contemplated the meaning of what I was doing and was disappointed in myself for not feeling like what I was doing was contributing more to the betterment of mankind.
So in truth, I was glad to be fired. The shock at first was sadness, a little anger but then relief and then excitement as I realized I would now have TIME to do all those things I was upset about NOT doing for the betterment of mankind because I didn’t think I had time.
Serendipity. It’s fascinating, is it not? Sometimes things happen that appear to be random yet on retrospect seem providential and fortuitous. That’s how I now feel about losing my job. I miss the people I worked with but I don’t miss the monotonous and mundanity of the day-to-day tasks that were required of me.
I suppose that’s how I feel about housework as well, except when I can actually see the rewards of my efforts at home, such as a house that looks like a home because we put pictures up. Or a piece of paper I can now find because it’s filed appropriately. Those things make me happy but they do not define me. To define me means to look at all those aspects of me that most people don’t look at, don’t think about. I am complex in my uniqueness but not in my humanity. I need to feel loved, as do all humans. I also need to feel useful, which most humans also recognize. However, to feel truly useful I need to be writing. I need to be uplifting. I need to be teaching.
I have already decided that to be a public school teacher is NOT for me. This morning I looked at a list of up and coming jobs that would be high paying without a lot of education and one listed was a Physician’s Assistant. Hmm, I thought. Now there’s a worthwhile career! But if I go back to school it would be to finish what I’ve already started and go into that very cool Master’s Program I really want to do! That’s my impetus. That would simply give me more reason to write and read. Are you laughing? You should be, it’s so me!
I am writing more. Not as much as I would like to yet, but I’m getting in the habit. Thanks to National Novel Writing Month and other writers inspiration that I tap into now and again. It seems that there are millions of “wanna-be” writers out there but I don’t care. I want to be a writer. I want to publish. I want to make a difference to someone. I want somebody somewhere to read something I’ve written and think, “Oh I know how that feels! I’m not alone!”
So if writing is my Meaning than what I will be writing will hopefully help you to figure out YOUR meaning. Maybe give you an idea and maybe even the tools to BECOME what you dream. I believe in myself. I believe anyone can do anything. I have always believed that. My parents instilled in me that belief and although I might sometimes forget, or be sidetracked (YaThink?) but it is still there. That basic conviction that all of us have the power within us to be whatever we want to be, even if it seems impossible, improbable or even foolish to others. I have proved it to myself already. So if you need to prove it to yourself than stay tuned. I’ll tell you how!