Top 5 Halloween

It is the last day of October. It is also Halloween. I have decided that sporadically throughout November, while I am killing myself doing NaNo, I am going to be posting my Top 5's because they are easy and quick and I can still talk about the things I want to talk about. Also, I will be able to keep my blog on the schedule I want to keep (i.e.; Beauty Tuesday, Watchful Wednesday, Thankful Thursday, Fit Friday, etc.). 

For today's Top 5's I am actually going to do two groups. The first is going to be the Top 5 Scariest Movies I have ever seen. These will essentially be the movies I never, ever, ever want to see again (except one). Or maybe those that just won't leave me because they were so disturbing. 

The second group is my Top 5 Halloween Candy choices. Which basically means the ones I steal from my kids, buy and eat before Halloween or those I call piece de resistance.

So, without further ado, I give you the Top 5 scariest movies ever according to Kat...

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) :: I don't remember how or why but I know I saw this on TV. Might have been on a premium movie channel but it was right around the time it came out. This was the first "horror" I ever saw and pretty much decided my feelings about the genre. Yeah, I couldn't sleep for days. My issues with horror have mostly to do with "evil."

2. Creepshow (1982) :: Specifically, "They're Creeping Up on You!" which is
the cockroach one. Stephen King wrote most of the segments and is the master of scary, in my opinion, but this is the only one of his that made my list. LOL I don't do cockroaches. They are my only creepy crawly that I really go insane when I see. I've actually quit jobs & moved because of them. Yeah. Issues.

3. Two Thousand Maniacs! (1964) ::  This is just a weird, disturbing one. People lured to a deep southern town, and tortured, eaten even; only for the town to completely disappear. They made sequels to this but I found the original uniquely horrifying. I watched this just a few years ago because the name was familiar. It's not leaving.

4. The Amityville Horror (1979) :: Touted as a "true story" this movie scared the be-snotties outta me. Now that I think about it, this was actually my first "horror," and it was definitely evil. I read the book and that was probably not a good idea. I found out later it was a hoax and that's why I'm such a stickler for facts. Well, one of the reasons.

5. Jaws (1975) :: I do not consider this a "horror" by any means, it was just scary and, no, I couldn't go back in the water for a while. And yes, I saw this in the theater when it came out. Multiple times. What was I thinking? This movie will probably appear again on my Top 5 movies I watch over and over again. LOL


and, the Top 5 candies I cannot resist (and should not even have in the house).

1. Reese's Cups
2. Reese's Pieces
3. Reese's Mini Cups
4. Peanut M&M's
5. Snickers

My kids know me. If it isn't chocolate it's not worth it. And if it doesn't have peanut butter (or peanuts) don't even bother me with it.
I'm pretty easy.

Heartbreak

I woke up this morning sobbing. yeah, not so normal for me. And there is only one reason.

My meds.

I have not made a secret out of the fact that I have Depression. Major, Clinical Depression. Not, wow, I feel sad, lower-case depression, but full blown, chemical malfunction, I need serotonin Depression.

It's okay. I know some people still believe that it's in my head. And, well, it kind of is, but not in the way that they think.

When I was first diagnosed 15 years ago they "made" me watch this silly animated version of little serotonin squigglies not quite doing what they were supposed to be doing. You know that whole, This is your brain on... yeah, well, my brain doesn't do what "your" brain does. It sucks all my serotonin back into itself so I have to take a serotonin re-uptake inhibitor. aka SRI, or in my case, an SSRI. Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor. Fun for me. NOT.

Anyway, I have already digressed, which I am wont to do... I ran out of my SSRI (aka Effexor, or Venlafaxine as it is known on the Generic market) last week. I ordered more but they have yet to arrive. In the meantime it only takes one day for me to notice. Usually I get cranky, or angry. This time I am a freaking Basket case. Ugh. 

Yesterday I slept. I had nightmares. I dreamed that my sweet Sunshine was a cold-hearted assassin. We joke that she's a Ninja but this was awful. Now I would blame some of my nasty drama that I love so much (The Walking Dead, anyone?) except that I hadn't watched any yet. I saved that for later in the day. (Ha.) Her and one of my nieces had taken the job of "bill-collector" for the "family business" and they took their job rather seriously. I went on a ride-along with my daughter and was horrified. 

Okay, now that I write it out it sounds kind of funny. Figures. But I was bothered, okay?

Then last night I dreamed a movie-dream. I do that. The only person I remember was Steve Zahn. He was a young man with a "Harry Potter" -ish life. Only instead of "saving the day" like Harry did, Steve fell in love, with the rich girl. I am now remembering sharks. Really? Anyway, so Steve and Rich girl made a baby. They got married but without Daddy's blessing, I'm talking Rich Daddy. This is sounding trivial but it was quite real to me because I was the sister. I was along for the ride for all of this. I watched it unfold and I watched it fall apart. Because without money and without whatever it was that was allowing Harry/Steve to continue at school they got odd jobs and were starving. 

Eventually they broke up (which is heartbreaking in and of itself) and the baby? Oh, they had the baby. Then in their mutually selfish behavior and maybe even finger-pointing, they neglected the baby and it died. 

The baby died.

In my dream I was the only one that cared. 
They let their baby die.
Then I woke up.

It was crazy but I started crying immediately. I was completely heartbroken. They let their love die, then they let their baby die. It was a boy. In the dream, as the sister to the father of the baby, I was hounding him and bugging him, "Where is the baby?" 
He just shrugged and said, "Oh, he died." And changed the subject.

I know. I'm crazy.

My husband heard me sobbing (I tried to hide in the bathroom) and between my gulps I told him how crazy it was but really all I've been able to say about the whole thing was, "There was a baby that died and I was the only one that cared." 

Nothing reveals the lack of humanity to me than that. They let the baby die.

I cried for like, an hour. Then I called Gypsy and she talked me down. Thank God for her! There were a whole lot of other things that came out then, like how I fear not being loved and rejection. 

Then I turned on my computer and I saw the news. 

Sandy. 

And I spent all morning crying about a stupid dream? It was more than that, I realize, but the point was I did draw out of myself enough to see that I was and am blessed. Yes, crap happens. Yes, crap happens to me. But today, I was warm. I was safe. My family was intact. Everyone I knew (so far) was okay. There was lots to be sad about, lots to be worried about but really, my little corner of the universe was okay.

I had a few more bouts on and off today. I got the giggles a little later. Then it was a roller-coaster all afternoon and into this evening. I'm better right now. I'm about to go to sleep though...

A Birthday and Nano Crap!

I have a couple of things on my mind; neither of which are very interesting. Except maybe to me.

First is that today is my beloved niece's 30th birthday. And I am Not That Old. I can't be. For kicks I will share this picture we took, um, yesterday...

Oh yeah.
We're hot.


(On a side note, wow, my nails look really great. I had no idea I had nice nails back then!)



So other than not getting to celebrate this special day with my niece I also got to run out of gas and therefore my day was thrown. 

I don't do will with those kinds of tweaks. I'm "plan A" have I told you? In other words, I'm sure I have a touch of Autism because don't we all? Anyway. I took a nap, which I probably didn't need and now I'm already ready for bed. 

Lame. 

The other thing on my mind is that NaNoWriMo starts in two days and I am so not ready. 

I mean, I am ready because my story is ready. 

Yes, I said that! My. Story. Is. Ready!
(Okay, that got me excited!)

I am co-writing (not tried this before) a fantasy novel with my brother (the one not pictured... er, well, you can kind of see his ear if you look really close-lol). We have been talking about this story for a little while because I had a dream and then called him and jotted down the plot. We bashed it around a little and have been working on a basic outline which I summed up and emailed him yesterday.

In preparation this year I was able to take a Nano Pre-Game class through Storywonk.com and WOW! I feel ready! Yesterday's class was a basic run-down of "tips and tricks" and some the ideas got me really pumped. One thing they are offering is a DAILY podcast to help with motivation and ideas. I have signed up for that and there are just a few more things left to do.

One of the two assignments was to create a collage and I did that (mostly) with the characters. I created a Pinboard on Pinterest and you can see all the characters and how I will be visualizing them initially. They are already forming personalities in my head, of course. 

The second assignment was to create a soundtrack which was kind of hard for me because I need QUIET when I write. But it was explained that it was more like a movie soundtrack. I have most of the music picked out (it might surprise you) but haven't actually made a playlist so I'm working on that. I might need kid help because it's technology I'm not as familiar with (this is the girl that taped songs from the radio with her little tape player).

This story is actually book one of a trilogy and (ahem) I wrote the basic structure for all three books and that's what The Brother got last night. 

Yeah. I'm excited.

I have learned a couple of things about how I write. I can't do the 15 minutes here or 15 minutes there because I immerse in the "other world." I have to be left alone. I am going to try and do my writing first thing in the morning but I don't know if that's feasible given I have kids and all. Reasonably speaking I can take approximately 1-2 hours between 9:00 AM and 2:30 PM Monday through Thursday when my kids are at school. 

Fridays are Superman's day. Superman is home and he doesn't really "let" me write. I say that with a grin because he just sees Friday as the day to "get things done" so I can't ignore him and lock myself in my room. I can, if I tell him, but usually it is a day to get things done so we'll see. (It will mean less time with my Superman, and I need that time!)

I am going to try and gung-ho for the first week or so and get as much out as I can. Those of you who have been through this with me before know that I peter out pretty quick so I'm taking my natural tendency to QUIT and figuring out how to overcome it.

One thing I have to remember, and dear Lani Gave Me Permission, to shut off my internal editor and Just Write. Write Crap. Write a conversation with a character (if she/he misbehaves). I can write backstory (that may or may not be relevant in the end). I can write crap. She told me I could. And I shouldn't edit until six weeks later, so we're talking January or February before I even look at this nonsense. YES!

I also don't do Nano Communities very well and I'm trying to do that as well, but the time it takes me away from the task of writing (can you say AVOIDANCE) will determine how much I spend in a community.

One last thing. To those of you who want to read what I'm writing, I'm okay with that. The only thing I have to say to you is; REMEMBER it is my first draft. It is ROUGH. It might not make sense. It might be all over the place and what I will want from you is; WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART. Identifying what is Good about it will be the job of my initial readers, if you want to be included. 

Wow.
I feel better. I was feeling kind of blecky but blogging about Nano really got me going.
Tomorrow I will work on my soundtrack and some other prep (non-writing) I need to do.
Yes, I will be blogging through the Nano and the blogs may or may not stay with my daily themes. We'll see.

Woohoo! Here we go!

P.S. It looks like I scored a B in my last class which was a Biology lab and I was Hating it! So glad it's over and honestly, a little shocked I got a B. LOL.
I will be taking a TED class in November (already started) which I am NOT excited about but it doesn't look to horrible. It's Special Ed. so it should be good for me and Crackle. ---Crackle, a whole 'nother post!--

Legacy

When I made the decision to commit to the challenge of writing in my blog every day I knew I would face challenges. One of the reasons I made the commitment was to prove to myself that I could keep the commitment.

This week has been tough. Not in the the My kids are driving me crazy way that is normal in my life but in the Holy Cow I'm exhausted and I have no idea what to say way. And things are only going to get more intense in the next few weeks because I am also committed to writing 50,000 words as part of National Novel Writing Month in November. It's all part of the bigger plan to expand myself; be more honest with myself and my voice. It's all part of embracing my true self and Doing and Being the person I want to be. 

I knew I would be challenged. I have a very hard time getting things done without immediate pressure. I have to work so hard to keep my commitments to others I have a harder time keeping commitments to myself; which is what this is. And Honestly, I could throw in the towel, who's going to say I can't? Nobody. The only person I am accountable (really) in this is myself. If I don't do this though, then I feel there are a lot of other areas in my life where I just need to let it go and move on to something else and I am not ready to do that. Probably not ever.

I have been thinking lately about legacy. The idea of immortality through that which we leave. I visited the cemetery where my brothers are buried yesterday and had a pleasant visit with their marble headstones. Cemeteries are very peaceful places. I watched a documentary about cemeteries and how they are turning into parks almost. Not like a park where you ride your bike or skateboard or swing but where you can sit and meditate. They have art festivals and special tours in some cemeteries. Interesting.

Cemeteries themselves have become a legacy. Which is the point, really. Wandering around among the markers (you cannot really call them "tombstones" anymore since they are flat and all) and reading them. I read the dates, I read the little blurbs that are sometimes on them. One of the things this place has started doing recently is providing small benches by random trees that are a purchased memorial. Those are relatively new.

Nice. Peaceful. Meditative.

I was thinking about my legacy today. Obviously I think the most important legacy I leave is my children. Obviously. They are by far my greatest work, however, they are subject to their own freedom to choose so even if I have taught them all my amazing knowledge, their application of said wisdom is only as good as their ability to LISTEN to me! Haha! (Sorry, Mom plug...)

Anyway, other than my children and ergo descendants, my only legacy will be whatever life I live and whatever contributions I make. My influence may end up being very small, like within the confines of my family. That's okay. Or, my legacy may extend, to others who enjoy the genre I might fit into. Right now it would be "Common 20th/21st Century Housewife" and I'm not sure I want that to be all. I want more. Is that pride? My desire to want to give more to generations that follow than just what I have learned and communicated via my journals (be they online or in paper/pen)? I don't know if it's pride but I know I want to be heard, and maybe remembered.

I do believe in life after death. I don't believe our existence ends at death. And maybe it's my faith or maybe it's my ego that believes that I will matter. I do matter. To someone. And it is that someone that keeps me going. It is that off chance that something I say here, something I write in my fiction, something I say in a class or on a social media site, touches someone, changes their course or keeps them on a certain path or veers them off into a direction they need to be going. I don't know but it is this thought that drives me.

I have been touched by so many. I cannot number or name those that have touched my life. Some, mostly authors, will never know. Others, I try to give back what they have given me either by promoting or paying it forward. Those are the things that matter to me. The legacy I want to leave is the one that said to Love others, be kind to others and treat others fairly even when you aren't treated the same. Love yourself. Embrace your power and wield it wisely. That's all part of what I want to be remembered for.

And if I stop writing then nobody will hear it. So I cannot stop. I needed to hear it so I think maybe someone like me is out there waiting and I need to be the one to say it. So I write. I fumble through a blog post. I am going to plug away at Nano without my thesaurus because I can do it.

I Can Do It.

I AM A GREAT WRITER.

The Book Review: Diana Gabaldon "Outlander"

“A book review is a description, critical analysis, and an evaluation on the quality, meaning, and significance of a book, not a retelling.” --eHow

Title: Outlander 

Author: Diana Gabaldon 

Publisher—Date: Dell—1991

 
Description: 

Outlander (which is a play on the Gaelic word for “foreigner” or “outsider”) begins benignly in post WWII Scotland. An ex-army nurse and her husband are reunited and enjoying some time together in the Highlands after the long, despairing war. While gathering flowers (her hobby) at an ancient henge (ala Stonehenge), Claire Beauchamp Randall suddenly found herself in 1743. 

Caught between the English and the Scottish in a skirmish she is first captured by an English officer who looks uncannily like his progenitor, who also happens to be her erstwhile 1945 husband. “Rescued,” by the Scottish rebels she is transported to a castle keep and becomes the local “physician,” due to her skills as a nurse. Much intrigue ensues and Claire is married to a Scottish outlaw to save her own neck, as well as his. 

Considerable more strategy and conspiring occurs and Claire is equally venerated, and feared, as a physician and accused of, among other things, being a witch. All the while she tries to return to the original location of her time-travel to return home. She finds purpose in her ability to heal others in this time of blood-letting and leeching; and love in the Scottish warrior she wedded. We are to wonder if she will ever return to her own time or is she destined to be in 18th Century Scotland for the rest of her mortal life?

Was that too much description or Spoiler?

Critical analysis and evaluation of quality, meaning and significance?

There was a lot of research that went into this book. Because I am one of those people who double-checks facts, AND is fascinated by history, I checked some of her information and found it to be better than accurate. As far as structure goes I thought the actual story began when she dropped through time but upon further investigation I realized that this is a Book 1 of approx 7 (to date) and the information provided in the first few chapters does matter during the course of this novel and definitely in later installments. I believe the information could have been provided another way so the first bit of the book was unnecessary, in my opinion.

The style is unremarkable but not obnoxious. Her descriptions of flora and fauna could have been more in depth and descriptive (this is my personal preference, generally speaking). As part of a series I felt it was a great set up for more books, but I won’t be reading any more of them. Her style is not my preference and the story was not truly compelling enough for me. I was impressed with her use of British phrases and inferences (knowing the author is American).

As far as meaning and significance… um, it was an historical-romantic-paranormal-ish, science-fiction work. I really liked that she embraced both scientific, pagan and religious ideologies; that was extraordinary and insightful. I wanted to read this book because I remember my grandmother talking to me about it but she could not remember the author or title of the book. She passed away a couple of years ago and when I was again recommended the story I decided to read it and see what Granni was talking about.

I was not disappointed with the book or the story, I just felt it was a little bit too much suspension of reality on too many occasions. When Claire supposedly kills a wolf with her bare hands… well, my belief took a strong hit. I did not have trouble with the time travel or even with the uncanny resemblance of the antagonist to her husband (he wasn’t really estranged as she was in a completely different time), but I was tested time and again with capture and liberation over and over and over again. Yeah. I don’t think so.

I would recommend this book to those that like historical fiction, especially those with an affinity toward Scottish history. For romance, it was satisfactory. I would rate it at PG-13 at least as far as sex scenes go, if that matters to you. There were some disturbing moments (including male rape) but not so descriptive as to be critically disgusting.

Overall I liked the author, I liked this book but I won’t be reading any more of this series.

Law Suit Over Beauty?

Really? I can’t make this stuff up.

Some dude in China sued his wife for being ugly and won. Ugh. Seriously? 

According to Bill Handel of KFI Los Angeles (which is notoriously conservative—they do or did air Dr. Laura & Rush Limbaugh after all) has reported that a Chinese man brought a suit against his wife after discovering she had plastic surgery and went from “ugly” to beautiful after $100K worth of “work,” and I’m not talking about a job.
Apparently all was well between the couple until they decided to reproduce. The baby, the man claimed, was ugly. Really? A baby? At that point he questioned paternity but he was the father all right, but his wife had failed to disclose her little “touch-ups” before the wedding and a judge ruled in favor of the disgruntled father. Oh yes he did. $120K worth of “damages” awarded to the man. 

For serious.

First of all, this is wrong on so many levels. While I agree that the woman should have disclosed her “change” before marriage I do not think that was worthy of a reward. Not money, nothing. I don’t think it was right of her to not tell him about it, especially after the baby apparently inherited some of her, um, less desirable physical traits. But a baby? Really? And you cannot tell me that the man was a stunner so the baby did not inherit any of his traits? Really? The man’s picture is not included in the article, by the way. 

I know, shocking.

Secondly, I believe many of us go through some changes before dating. I, for one, lost 30ish pounds before Superman and I started dating. He knew me though, so there wasn’t any hiding the fact that it was possible I had a touch of the fat gene in my family tree. Did he not meet her parents? Did he not meet any siblings? There is so much missing from this story that makes me think, seriously?

Lastly, the original article said,

“If you’re going to feel sorry for anyone, feel sorry for their child, whom will forever be known as the baby that broke her parent’s marriage – with her face.”

1. That’s a disgusting thing to say and

2. It’s really sad because it’s true, the real victim in this story is the poor child whose father actually believed it was so ugly it could not possibly belong to him. Harsh.

So who is to blame here? If the woman wasn’t convinced (by what?) she needed to make such drastic changes to her image than maybe she wouldn’t have done it in the first place. So who is to blame? Society? Her parents?

There is a lot of information missing from this story but I’m still sad for the baby and think the man is a pig.

Yeah. That about sums it up.

Monday... again?

I'm not feeling well... again. I hope this tummy trouble nonsense goes away ASAP because I have stuff to do. Grr!

In the meantime...

We heard from Pop's coach that he filed a complaint with the officials in charge of everything (football) and we are waiting to hear back. Stupid cheaters!  Anyway, he wants the boys to be able to play and finish out the season on a positive note. That team was stinky. I haven't been able to tell Pop yet because all the boys are at the park playing (yay me!) so I'll tell them at dinner.

Crackle was home for a furlough day. He rode Superman's bike to the library and got some movies. I totally passed out around lunch time and didn't wake up until Snap called for his ride home. Oops. In the meantime I think Crackle bought a movie via Vudu. Grr. I have since deleted my account info. For some reason it was set up so he could order a movie without having to add a code. My bad, but ARGH!

There is another debate tonight and I admit I'll be glad when it's all over. I did not get to see the last one because we don't have TV and I didn't even get to listen to it because we were in the middle of McTeacher's night. That's where the teachers work at McDonald's for a few hours and the money they make from sales goes to the school. I love fundraisers like that so I "made" Superman (haha--anyone who knows Superman knows you don't "make" him do anything) take us. Anyway, it's Monday and usually we don't have anything planned on Mondays outside the home so we might get to watch. 

I'm pretty much the only one interested so we'll see.

I'm feeling a little better but not much. I got chicken out for dinner because it's Chicken Night.

I am not uber organized but I do have a dinner schedule otherwise I want to DIE every night. I hate meal planning!

Sunday = Roast (done!) Usually that includes mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans and occasionally --if I'm feeling bakey-- bread.

Monday = Chicken. Tonight I'm doing thighs cut up and baked like nuggets, Tater Tots & hopefully homemade buttermilk biscuits. I'm in the mood. with mixed veggies.

Tuesday = Taco night! I don't really like frying the tortillas to make the shells but it's been a while so I'm game. We need some tomatoes.

Wednesday = Soup, salad and/or sandwiches. I got the stuff to make Sneert aka Split Pea Soup. It's one of the only soups I like. Actually, I like most of the Dutch soups I make for my family; including Groentesoep. YUM! and Homemade bread, for sure!

Thursday = Pizza or Calzone night, or if I'm not feeling like making the crust; pasta. Either way it's Italian sausage. I want olives this week. Yes. I think I will. Oh and we got Canadian bacon at Costco! I need to get some pineapple. Yummy!

Friday = YOYO or You're On Your Own. aka Date Night. 

Saturday = BBQ. Usually hamburgers. I used to do hot dogs but Snap informed us he doesn't really like hot dogs. HUH? How did that happen? LOL

There you go. If I stick to this then I'm not befuddled. Otherwise... Dinner comes from a can. Boo for everyone but me.

I got a call from Princess this afternoon. She is visiting her sister in SLC. I told her not to usurp her sister's domain. It happens. Sunshine is busy and happy but I think she misses her family so I'm glad they are together. Princess says she's staying until Friday. Crazy! I miss them. Terribly.

I am getting ready for November's National Novel Writing Month. aka NaNoWriMo. I worked on my page last night and have been thinking about my story. I'm working on a Fantasy novel (book 1 of 3!) with my brother. I'm excited but nervous. We have more planning to do or we'll end up with a lot of gobbledy gook that is unusable. Mostly from me. Haha. 

I'm hoping to take a revision/rewriting class early next year from the same people that teach me all the good stuff. The good folks at Storywonk.com. They rock. 

Mind the Gap

When I was in London we all rode The Tube.  I mean everyone. It’s a thing. Anyway, as you’re boarding this pre-recorded message would announce to “Mind the gap,” meaning the gap between the platform and the train door. It was somewhat annoying. But of course you paid attention because they continuously brought it to your attention. 

I had this random thought today during church.

I noticed the youngest boy in a friend’s family serving the Sacrament. “He’s twelve already?” was my thought. I also noticed one of the older boys (by a year, not really “older”) semi-directing him. I’m not sure that he needed it. There was a nearly imperceptible gesture with a similarly nonchalant nod. I thought to myself, “He has brothers, he doesn’t need help.” But his brother is the one that passed last year, suddenly. He has other brothers, it’s not like it was just the two of them, but then… sometimes it feels that way when you lose a sibling. I am not sure people realize that. There’s a gap.

When a sibling dies you feel it, the family dynamic changes. Maybe you are suddenly not the middle child anymore. Or maybe now you are the baby. In my case I was suddenly the oldest actively LDS child and the only one to have served a full-time mission. We went from a family with six kids to a family with four. It still feels off.

There is another gap that came to my mind when thinking about this; the gap between us and God. We will never be perfect. Not on our own anyway. That’s kind of the point. We come to earth, we make mistakes, we love each other and serve one another the best we can, and then we die. Oh, and a little FYI, you cannot “earn” your way into heaven. The only way is to accept Jesus Christ as your interceptor. He is our go-between, our negotiator. No matter how “good” you are the truth is that without the Grace of God to save you (aka Jesus) you cannot bridge that gap.

There was another thing that came to mind when I thought of the Tube in London. Sometimes we were delayed because of a “person under the train.” They actually announce things like that. The first time I heard it I kind of freaked out. I only heard it a couple of times in the six months I was there but it affected me deeply. I didn’t know if it was a purposeful thing or an accident but I remember thinking how awful it was. How sad for the family.

We all have gaps. Someone we’ve lost either through death, divorce, moving, etc. We need to be kinder to ourselves and each other and mind the gaps. 

Pay attention.

Playing by the Rules

Pop had his "final" football game. 

Well, maybe.

You see, the other team kind of cheated. No really. I realize I am the Mom and that I am biased (I fully admit it) but really.  They did. And it cost us the game. 

Here's the thing. It was 4th down and the opposing team said they were going to punt the ball. So we sent out our punt receiving team, not our defense (kind of a combo of both). The other team decided mid-play to run the ball and our players feeling kind of side-swiped didn't know what to do and their opponents scored. There was a big hulla-baloo on the field but in the end the referees decided to let it stand and they got to keep their six points. Unfortunately it wouldn't have mattered if we had kept our lead but in the end they beat us by Four. Points. Yep, four. So you see, that touchdown cost us the game and I think the coaches are fighting it but not sure it's going to matter.

We'll see.

Either way our boys played clean. There were some other incidents during the game and our team and our parents behaved appropriately. Not so much the other team. At one point one of the other coaches had to literally be carried off the field. If you thought pee-wee football wasn't exciting you should have been at our game yesterday! Booya.

So, here's the thing. I am a Golden Rule Girl. It's not so much about "the rules," so much as "playing fair." I'm  not necessarily about keeping rules if the rules are unfair. I realize that reality says that life isn't fair but that doesn't mean that I don't think it should be. Just because it isn't doesn't mean I don't believe in it. 

Did I lose you?

Basically for me the Golden Rule is I treat you the way I want you to treat me. I kind of expect the same in return. In the case of this team I believe if the tables were turned they would not want us to keep the points (ya think?) and that is my point. 

Coach A: Hey! You said you were going to punt and you ran the ball!?
Coach B: You're right. We saw an opening and we took it. Is it against the rules?
Coach A: I don't know. Let's check with the ref.
Referee: I don't have a clue. I'm just here for the food...

See what I mean. Life isn't fair. 

Fit Friday Definition

The point behind Fit Friday is for me to assess my eating and exercising goals for the week.

Eating:

This week kind of stunk, partly because of my medicine; Gabapentin. I forgot what it does to me when I first start taking it. I was off of it for too long so it’s like starting over and that’s a bad idea. I need to be better about getting my medicines renewed on time. Pain-in-the-butt stuff. Meh. But if it stops me from going through this re-acclimation stage then it is worth it because this stinks. Period.

Also, yesterday and today I have had the 24-hour stomach flu. I don’t vomit very often and haven’t this time either but, yeah, the other end is giving me trouble. I was up until after 2 a.m. this morning. Just saying.

So that might be good for my weight but probably won’t matter, truthfully. My eating is all over the place. Superman wants cookies but guess who eats them? Well, the dough for sure. I know, I know, I shouldn’t but it’s so yummy! Also, I can’t seem to stay away from bread and other carbs. I need to find a balance. I need to figure out a way to get more vegetables and my way of choice is through juicing. The problem I’m having is that my veggies rot before I get the motivation to make a juice. Lame excuse, I know that. So this is my sounding board for pulling out the b.s. in my excuses. Call me on it! We bought a juicer, I can do this. I want to do it.

I also want a new blender so I can do smoothies. Our blender is at least as old as our marriage and at our last anniversary we celebrated 21 years. Unfortunately the kind we want/need to do the smoothies the best (i.e.; grinds up the veggies and fruits best) is a $300-$500 unit. Do you have that kind of cashola lying around? Yeah, neither do we. And what we did have has gone to car repair. Welcome to the lower middle class (or maybe the upper lower class?) peeps. It’s freaking fun down here!

Said nobody, ever.

Exercise:

I rode my bike on Saturday. Woohoo! I just about died doing it. I rode from our house in “Downtown” to the high school. It’s approximately 2+ miles in a mostly uphill climb. Easy peasy, I thought. I mean I rode up and down hills in Japan, I can do this. Um. Hello Katrina! That was freaking twenty-five years ago (give or take), five kids, +/- 30 lbs., and after six months walking all over London and Europe getting in some kind of “shape.” Granted I’m not totally out of shape but certainly not in my 21-year-old body!

I also did one day of strength training. That’s not enough. Two days of each would make me happy. That’s not a lot. I can do that. I can. I need to. I really need to. I need to step it up. I cannot do all the other things on my “list” if I’m not feeling good.

And then…

There is another aspect to this Fitness concept. I have to forgive myself. I need to be in tune with my body and make allowances for my challenges without being too easy on myself. I need to do a little every day to be stronger overall. Eating and exercise are how I plan to do that.

The entire idea of this “blogging everyday” is to better myself. To become my “true” self; who I know I can be, who I know I am. I have already outlined how to do that so now it’s a matter of Doing It. It’s not a surprise to inform you that I have issues with motivation. It’s not about commitment. I know when I make a commitment that I do it, I just basically do it my way. (Thus you see late blog posts now and then… okay more often than I like.)

However, I don’t make commitments because I know that my mood, my health, my psychological state, my time, etc. are sometimes not in my “control.” The only way I know how to bring that part of me under management is to live by routines. My routines are not established consistently and they currently do not seem to flow with my natural biorhythms (yes, I think that matters). Nor do they allow for lapses or flexibility. I am still figuring that out and it’s a constant process that is too slow for me. I mean this is something I’ve been trying to figure out since … um, most of my life.

So I guess I can’t expect it to change overnight but I’m as frustrated or more than I have been in the past with this seemingly inability to change in the manner I think is necessary. Yeah. See, that’s why I need to forgive myself but I make myself crazy. I’m still working on it, I have ideas, I have plans. This is the time. This is my time. I’m doing it. I am. It is what it is. And I will keep getting up until I figure out how to stay up and then? Be careful if you knock me down.

Argh. 

Blessed or Lucky?

I don’t believe in “luck.” I believe we are “blessed.” You could call it Karma, luck, good fortune, chance, coincidence or maybe even the results of hard work. Whatever you call it, I think the joy in it comes from recognizing or, “seeing” it. Perception is everything. Have you heard that before? So the perception of a good thing happening in your life as coming from a higher source would be a blessing. I don't think those things are random, as I also don't think bad stuff is random. Oh dear, I guess I have to go there...

Bad things happen to good people because of two reasons; 1) Mortality (and all that that implies) and 2) Agency.

The thing with Mortality that people (I'm talking the anti-science people) sometimes seem to forget is that some things get stamped into our DNA and there's nothing we can do about it. Did you know that they can prove the susceptibility of certain diseases, including cancer, being stamped in a gene in your DNA? That gene can be turned on (and hopefully off—wouldn't that be nice... but then I digress into the chasm that is “gene therapy,” and I digress. Where was I? Oh yes,) and Voila you have Asthma. Or Cancer. Or Depression. Or Diabetes. Is now a good time to voice my opinion about Cancer? It sucks. But I digress, again.

So, Mortality. It is also affected by your environment. Chemicals (both in your home and in the air), physical (duh) AND emotional trauma. Yep, Emotional crap can turn on a bad gene. I haven't read the studies, but my guess would be that any time you receive a vaccine you might be turning on (or off, perhaps?) a gene. Maybe. The gene stuff is fascinating. Actually, you can turn on a gene by catching a cold or virus (this is true). So the very act of living and breathing can make something bad happen to you. Bummer. But that was part of the big plan. We knew that was going to happen and accepted it because of the other Great Idea/Gift.

Agency. The other reason bad things happen to good people is because of choices. Sometimes our choices; those are called consequences. Sometimes other people's choices; those are also called consequences. The difference might be that someone's choice to rob a bank and shoot someone obviously affects both the shootee (they could die) and the shooter (he has to live with the weight of killing someone—and hopefully—the legal ramifications of that choice). There are other ways though, too. Like texting and driving. Or maybe even something as simple as driving down the road and some animal gets in front of your car; you swerve, or maybe you hit it. There are still consequences. The animal could die. Depending on the size of the animal it could cause damage.

Wait, what does this have to do with “luck” or “blessings” as I'm calling them? Those would be the Good consequences. Like someone paying for your meal at the Fast Food place (I've done this and had it done for me). You know, that Pay It Forward thing. Or maybe, just maybe, you will never know that something good you did affected anyone.

I know it's Thursday and not Sunday but I need to digress a little. The reason I went on a mission for my church was because I wanted to share my testimony of the Book of Mormon. Really. That's all I wanted to do. I think if a person chooses to believe and be baptized it is deeply personal and totally their choice. I don't mind helping them learn but I am a no-pressure gal. That's probably why doing Mary Kay was kind of hard for me (selling Anything is hard for me!) because I totally believe in No Pressure. You should want it because You want it, not because I told you to! Ack! Don't give me that burden!

My favorite thing to do was to hand out books. And that was not easy! I remember my very last week on my mission my companion (we work in twos and I had a female companion) and I worked very hard to get as many out as possible. I think we set the record that week. (I don't remember clearly, but I know it was awesome.) That was a great way to end my 18 months of service. 

While on my mission a fellow missionary shared a story with me that solidified my feelings about this. He told me that the reason he joined the church was because he found a Book of Mormon in his house that some missionary had given to some random person in their house and they went home and stuck it on the bookshelf. He found it (we're talking decades later), read it and THEN contacted the missionaries. Cool story. It confirmed my feelings about my purpose.

So, the point behind that little digression was just to illustrate how doing something for someone might have an impact in a way that you totally have no clue about. Ever.

Just because you might not know is not a reason to not do something nice. Because I also believe that we are God's “angels.” I think there are angels that we cannot see but I also believe there are more that we can. Those “angels” are the people around us. Spencer W. Kimball taught that, “it is usually through another person,” that God meets our needs. We are the answers to other people's pleadings with the Almighty. Also, God will not and does not intervene in every situation no matter how great our faith. It may be that the non-answer will be another answer. I know it's complicated.

Another story.

The evening we found out about my brothers missing I was sure that we would find them unharmed. I believed with all my heart that if something horrible were to happen to anyone I loved, particularly my family, that I would just know. I did not. When we left the next morning and spent the day searching I was sure they were impatiently waiting. I was sure. Anyone who knows this story knows that what we did find was one brother in two feet of water. Drowned. Dead.

The other brother we never found.

I cannot tell you the emotional and spiritual torment that accompanies such an event. I was beyond flabbergasted that I did not know. I struggled with this. Eventually I came to realize that God does not always work that way. It did not matter that I had great faith. (And I was not the only one that did.) It did not matter that there were so many people who prayed and pleaded that my brothers would be found alive, it was not to be so.

I still don't know why. I don't expect to know why until I myself reach the other side and even then I may not fully comprehend. What I do know is that True Faith requires that I continue on in endeavoring to do my best until The End. 

What I do know is that God loves me. He has shown me this in a million little ways that I call “blessings.” Sometimes it is a simple answer; like finding my car keys, or meeting someone and “clicking” and creating a life-long friendship. Sometimes it's big things like an article in the church magazine so perfectly timed that it could only be for me (yes, that happened to me). Sometimes, most times, it is by sending someone who answers my prayer.

No, I don't believe in luck.  

My Best Ever

So, in my pursuit to discover How I want to do my reviews I was led to a site called Chick Lit is NotDead. I like the way they do the reviews and I read one that listed an author's “Best Ever” so today I've decided to share my own “Best Ever's.”

Best Artist:

The original post asks for “Best Song,” but I can't pick just one. From my childhood I would pick John Denver because we listened to him on our road trips. I do remember a lot of road trips, actually. From my teen years (when I actually actively listened to music) I would pick Pat Benatar. I knew every song and looked up and learned the meanings of a few idioms she used in her songs (this was before Urban Dictionary and Google, mind you) and that's a toughie because I liked everything from AC/DC to Rupert Holmes (Google it!) so I'm going with Benatar because, she Rocked. From my Country days I loved Reba and now?

Have I mentioned I listen to newsradio?

I'll have to say Adele. That girl's got lungs, man!

Best Musical:

Of course, I have a caveat. My favorite musical is Cats. But the best? I would say Les Miserables. I have read the book, seen every movie made (most do not follow the book, by the way), but the musical tops them all! The emotion is so well done and I cannot Cannot CANNOT wait for the movie version and very much hope it does not suck.

Best Movie:

Nope, I cannot pick one. I love Frank Capra, every Frank Capra that's ever been made. Google him. IMDB him. My favorite Capra is It's a Wonderful Life. I don't know that it's the Best Movie ever made. Wow. I don't know if I could just pick one. The Best Writer Movie is hands down American Dreamer. Hello, who doesn't want to get amnesia in Paris and think they're a spy who knows several foreign languages?

Every time I think I've seen The Best Movie Ever Made (Avatar was Spectacular, The Avengers was EPIC!) but a movie that makes me think or is cathartic (I say the same about Authors also). One life-altering movie for me would be Rashomon by Akira Kurosawa.

Wow. I feel obscure.

...or Old.

Best Book:

Again, I cannot pick one book. Are you crazy? I love all books, okay, not all. I have actually Not Finished some books. I know. I know. Hard to believe but that is true. So, the best book is (obviously, for me) the Book of Mormon, but outside of that I will have to say Authors. The Best Author (in my opinion) is Jane Austen. Oh? You want someone who's alive? Okay then. I have to say Jennifer Crusie. I also love Susan Elizabeth Phillips because almost every one of her books changes me. I cry. No, I SOB!

Best Moment:

Truthfully this one is easy. The Best Moment of my life was when my first child was born. (That would be Sunshine.) Considering I was told I would need medical intervention to get pregnant I thought getting pregnant was a miracle. For years I did not think I would ever get married or have children (I did believe this, I spent years doubting my worth) so I still did not believe that I could have a healthy child. When I was in labor I guess I believed it and when she was born I was overwhelmed and completely in awe of this tiny creature that was a part of me and a part of Superman.

Most definitely the best moment of my life.

So what are your bests?

Inside Out Beauty

This morning I was thinking about my blog (of course, because that's when I think about it... not when I'm sitting at my computer with a shiny keyboard SHOUTING at me! That would be TOO EASY!) and I really wanted to write about Beauty from the Inside. Inside Out Beauty (change the title; CHECK!). I think it's important to be Happy and Nice than it is to have a lot of makeup or even beautiful, wrinkle-free skin. 

Then a friend posted this: 



All I can say is ...Wow. 

On a personal note, Apparently I suddenly have Wash & Go hair. No, I could not have figured this out when I had four tiny children to chase around (#4 was born w.e.e.k.s. before #1 started Kinder!). I figure this out at the *cough-cough oddnumber *cough-cough. Yappari (Japanese for "it figures").

Here I am in all my Yellow Glory. Enjoy. 

Monday Blues

Monday appears to be my catch-up day. That’s okay, as long as I’m aware of it I can fix the problem. And the problem? Well, having Superman and the kidlets; Snap, Crackle & Pop, home pretty much messes up my schedule. Working on posts ahead of time would be the answer (which was something I wanted to do anyway—so easy fix).

My best thoughts come to me in the early morning when I’m getting ready and getting my kids off to school. Then when I come in and turn on my computer and start writing… [crickets]

Now I’m almost three posts behind and I need to catch up and get ahead!

It’s Momma Monday so I should talk about my kids. 

We had Pop’s last football game of the season on Saturday. Next week his team goes to the tournament and we’ll see how far they get. If they win this next one then we’ll have another one. If not then we can be done for the year and have our party. I’m trying to be more friendly with the other moms but I’m not that great at it. I’m not sure why. I don’t think I’m shy, per se, but I am wary of new people. That’s true. I don’t think that makes me shy, just cautious. Twice burned and all that…

Crackle is doing pretty well. We got his cast off last week and he is now back in a brace for a while. The doctor said we didn’t have to come back for 10 weeks and it was so far ahead that they couldn’t even make the follow-up appointment. He is going to school just fine most days, we’ve only had one “I won’t get on the bus” incident since they changed his pickup time to 8:30 am (actually it’s closer to 8:45, but whatever). We had a couple of tough days last week but we re-introduced one of his meds after he was off of it for a couple of weeks. That’s never good but he seems to be doing great now. Typical @$$ behavior but not so bad the teacher is calling me every day. I am calling that good. [thumbsup]

Snap is doing soccer. [sigh] Yes, I’m still disappointed it’s not football. However, on the bright side I’m thinking that the skills he will learn and hone by playing soccer will help him next year when he re-decides to play football again. [fingers crossed] We are looking for a job for him. He needs money and he is a very hard worker [shameless plug]. He is strong and very able-bodied. I haven’t checked his homework status in a few days, guess I should do that so I know if I should be freaking out. We have a 504 for him but he is doing pretty well. I still need to call and make sure that gets done.

Today I have been helping Princess write her resume. She needs to find a job. Still not exactly sure what her plans are. I heard some inklings of various new ideas but not sure how solid she is on any of them. What I do know is that I only have three children at home and my life is easier right now. I just want her to be happy.

I haven’t talked to Sunshine in a few days. She’s so busy and when it occurs to me to talk to her I know she is at work. Then when I think about it I feel like I’m bugging her. [sigh] She’s even talked to me about that. I kind of want her to come home but there is nothing here for her and I know that.

It’s sad. Babies grow up. Cuddle them now my friends.

Superman is doing fine. He has a little cold but went to work anyway. We got the Harley back on Saturday, Thank You Lord! So today I had a car! Woohoo!

I’m in the mood for Halloween themed stuff. I made a concoction of orange peels, cinnamon sticks and cloves; added water and boiled it on the stove until the house smelled yummy. Awesome!

I like fall.

Dr. God

So. Call me crazy but I don’t get all the hulla-baloo over teaching the theory of evolution. Well, as long as it continues to be taught as a theory. Because you know what a “theory” is, right? It’s a guess. An educated guess, mind you, but still some smart guy’s idea based on evidence yada yada yada. You know, stuff. I’m sure most of it is fact-based but not everything, especially since there seems to be “missing links,” if you know what I mean.

The thing is that God is kind of the know-all, see-all, do-all, Go-To guy in the universe therefore whatever or however “it” happened, it was under God’s direction. This is something I have known all my life, innately. It’s not something I have struggled over very much because it’s something I have always believed.  If I struggled with something it was how to discuss this innate belief with others. I’m still not sure how to explain it; except to say that God is the Ultimate Scientist.

Here’s the thing. God works within laws. So He has to follow certain parameters. The power he wields we call The Priesthood.  By the power of the Priesthood God organized elements to create the earth, the universe, etc. So how exactly that was done is debatable, but my guess is it was some kind of big bang or other catastrophic anomaly.  The point is that it was done in a logical, fact-based way that may or may not be currently explained via our “scientists.”

The thing is, I believe the point of our current existence is to have faith in something. Faith is a belief or hope in something that you cannot see, cannot prove in the “factual” or cognitive sense; nevertheless it is true. The leap from Faith to Truth is not very far but sometimes can be misguided. An example of misguided faith might be to avoid a doctor’s care when you have an infection or some other illness that requires medical intervention.

A Truth is something that can be proved, irrevocably, cognitively, with facts and numbers and indisputable evidence. The problem is that a Truth can also be something you feel in your heart, in the depths of your soul. Just because there is not indisputable evidence does not make it less true, it’s just not something that has tangible proof. Yet.

“Doctor” God is the ultimate scientist. His “magic” is known as the Priesthood and by that power He created the Heavens and Earth and all things that in them are…

In my opinion, of course.

Random Thoughts

What is with our fascination with the assassinations of Lincoln and Kennedy? And our obsession with the Titanic? Why do these tragedies still affect us? Why do we still care so much? Why are our hearts still tugged and pulled by these stories and events?

I have considered this since I was a young child. I was fascinated by both Lincoln and Kennedy.   I remember sitting in a bookstore (back in the day when there were brick and mortar bookstores) poring over a book about John F. Kennedy, his life, his Presidency and his death. I spent probably twenty to thirty minutes (where was my mother?) looking at all the pictures. It moved me to tears.

I read A Night to Remember cover to cover. I read the passenger lists over and over again. Why? Why was my soul so tortured? I still ache. I cry when I watch the Titanic movie but it has absolutely Nothing to do with Leo & Kate, erm; Jack & Rose. It has everything to do with the ship. The children. The old couple cuddling as the water floods their quarters. It’s the dead floating in the water because they did not fill the lifeboats. It’s the beautiful china crashing on the floor. It’s the staircase. I ache.

Why does Lincoln’s death still consume me? When I see his bearded face I feel warmth in my heart for the kind of person he was and for what he stood. I consider where we are now with our political mudslinging and multiple interpretations of the constitution. I ache for the losses of his family, I ache for the depression that has been implied that he suffered from during his life. I know that pain.

Kennedy was a philandering womanizer and represented everything I dislike about men but yet, so charismatic. Even in death his life haunts me. The early loss of his son, the death of Jackie from Cancer (Grrrrrrr! Cancer!)… all of those things. The Kennedy family was one of those that scare me; rich, powerful, untouchable. But in spite of those things his death saddens me.

I think the thing about all of these is what they symbolized.

Lincoln was the symbol of the abolition of slavery.

The Titanic was the symbol of men’s pride and their belief that they had risen above nature in their comprehension of technology. (HA!)

Kennedy was the symbol of civil rights.

Huh. That’s interesting. Maybe that’s why they both affect me. I believe in fairness although I don’t think it exists. I believe that all men and women should be free to make their own choices. I don’t think color, race, gender, religious preference (or lack thereof), should have any bearing on choices. I also don’t believe in any kind of slavery. No person should “own” another person. Ever.

Oh, and it’s freaking weird that I did not realize until today that both Lincoln’s and Kennedy’s replacements were Johnson’s.

That’s just freaky.

The Friday Thing

It’s hard for me to blog when Superman is home because he distracts me.

Not like that. We go shopping and stuff. Today he took me to “brunch” at Jack’s, nothing fancy. We had an awesome visit –hmm, I just realized I did all the talking; ergo good visit. That’s funny right there.

Okay, so I remind him that I made goals for this year because it’s my “odd” year and I hate the “odd” years. He says, “You gotta get over that.”

“Yeah,” I says, “I am. Mostly. But really all my odd years have sucked so this year is going to be different! It already is!”

He nods, encouragingly. Then our food is ready so he goes to pick it up.

“You know,” I says, “I made a goal to blog every day and I’ve been doing pretty good at that!”

“That’s good.”

“And I’m not exercising every day (like I want) but I am averaging two or three days per week and that’s an improvement I’m happy with!”

“That’s good.”

“But…” I then go into a diatribe of how I’m not doing all my “Mom” jobs. I know these are my jobs. I am home all day and I’m okay with them being my “jobs.” Those include getting the house clean, laundry, dishes, and making dinner (meals). That about sums it up.

He says, “You don’t have to do it, but it’s your responsibility to make sure they get done.”

“Yeah,” I nod. But in my head I know I’m on my own because my boys are not as helpful as I’d like. Even Snap doesn’t respond as well as he used to. I will ask and it doesn’t happen. Usually it does, though, I shouldn’t criticize.

Oh, Superman helps. Don’t be thinking he doesn’t because he gets that I have Fibromyalgia and that I don’t do heights and we both hate the dusting thing but we got the house really Really clean last week and now I really Really just want to maintain that. And that was a really Really long sentence.

Oh and Laundry is still a pain-in-the-butt because we don’t have a dryer. The weather is starting to change and I can’t count on my outside dryer so much. Not sure what’s going to happen next.

“So…,” I says, “That’s not really what I wanted to talk about.

What I really want to talk about are my other goals. You know I’m going to publish a book this year.”

“That's what you said,” he says.

“Yes.” I say. “I will,” then I sip my drink. I am drinking Diet Dr. Pepper because they have it at Jack’s. Otherwise I have to drink [gasp] a sugary drink. “My other goals include doing a crafty thing every week. I have stuff I want to do for Christmas and I need to get started.”

His eyes widen over his drink (He is drinking Diet Coke--which I gave up in September!--FYI).

“And,” I continue, “I want to start doing an, I don’t know, I’m calling it my Be Beautiful Campaign where I get my ‘girl’ time and talk about make-up and stuff.”

“I want some tacos, do you want anything?”

“Yeah, I’ll have a shake,” I says. And there goes my “diet.”

When he comes back I hop right back on my subject because I have not gotten to my point which is that I want to “invest” in something that provides the “tools” I need to help women be beautiful; aka Make-up. You know, Mary Kay or now I’m considering my options. 

Anyway, “So,” I says, “what do you think?”

He’s chewing. I’m sipping and stirring my whipped cream into my yummy Oreo shake.

“I think it’s a good idea to build on your success.”

“What do you mean?” I ask. Then of course, I answer my own question. “You mean after I’m exercising more consistently and getting the housework and other things done more consistently, then add the beauty stuff?”

He nods.

And I know he’s right.

So I’m not ready to start that part of my life. But I am already writing. Sometimes at the expense of my home and family so I either need to learn how to delegate better and be satisfied with the results OR do some things ahead of time. I also need to either repair our dryer or just make the time to do a Laundromat run weekly until my dryer is fixed OR hire a maid/nanny/housekeeper/cook. Right.

As far as my diet/exercise routine? I rode my bike today and walked a little. I did strength training once. Most days I eat okay (staying away from the cookies/cookie dough!) but not perfect. I haven’t decided what way I’m eating yet. I would like to add at least one juice per day and stay high protein but not totally carb free because I go nuts (my body needs it? I am not understanding that so much).

I need low-carb/low-fat sweets to eat… That’s where my lovely Gypsy comes in… and my Pinterest board.