1. The Goal: 365+6

I have a theory. I think when I am an even number age that my life doesn’t suck as much as when I am an odd number age. I realize it’s not rational or logical, all I know is that it has been that way for a long time. 2011 seriously sucked for me. I have been needing 2012 to be better… and so far, not so much. The last couple of months have been extremely difficult (as they were exactly a year ago as well) and I’m done having excuses to put off my dreams. Done.

It is time to start.

Taking a page from someone who has always inspired me and recently (as a voice from the past) is seriously altering my life at the moment, I have decided to spend the next year (and a week) to blog. Basically it’s for the year I am an odd number again. I am afraid. The last three years have been quite awful and even though I have been keeping a gratitude (I call them Grattitudes—an ATTitude of Gratitude—get it?) journal during that time, it has still been awful.

We’re talking people dying, having to move, being poor, being sick (and tired) kind of awful.

It’s not that I’m unhappy, I just know I can be happier, mostly with myself.

This is the time.

I am doing this, and I need ya’ll’s help to keep it up.

Summer Adventures, or Not

So I have several things on my mind.

1.        Why I don’t like going on vacation.
2.        Downloading free books for Kindle.
3.        Jacob’s arm, Jacob’s school; Jacob in general.
4.        DD#2's school work.
5.        Writing as my “job.”

1) I don’t like to go on vacation: Not with my family anyway. We go on a wonderful trip with my parents and siblings to Lake Powell every year and it is wonderful. It has become a tradition since 1994—I remember because I was pregnant with DD#2 our first year and DD#1 was so small; it was a blast! We have not gone every year and DH hasn’t gone in several years. That’s fine. But it takes its toll on me! I admit that I spend most of the week reading and sleeping. Last year and this year I tried to make it a rule to get in the water every day.

Can you imagine being surrounded by beautiful, pristine (okay maybe not so pristine) lake water and not wanting to go in? Here’s that thing. Usually it’s very cold so you feel that initial I-don’t-want-to-do-it feeling but once you do you’re fine, generally speaking. This year was warmer. Last year my rule was to go down the slide 10 times a day and once I decided to do that I was doing it. This last year has been hard on my body what with getting Shingles again and being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and generally living in constant pain. The evidence is in my weight gain and the fact that climbing the spiral staircase to get up to the slide top seemed like too much for me so I did not do it. I actually only got in the water once. Then Jacob dislocated his elbow and all bets were off. No more water for me. I was On Call as Chief comforter/mommy.

Last summer and this summer we took a “just our family” vacation. Both years were excellent. This year we went to Santa Barbara County. We camped at Lake Cachuma (not so great), spent a day at Solvang (not so great), and visited Refugio and El Capitan state beaches. The beach days were A-m-a-z-i-n-g! I actually went in the water (not past my waist, don’t be silly!) and refined my tan. The good time nearly rivaled last year’s trip to the Santa Cruz area. I missed DD#1 who is working in Utah (very proud of her though)! Those family vacations weren’t so bad but I admit DH does most of the work. I am unable to do a lot. I help, of course, but even the cooking was left to him. I did make one fire this year but it nearly went out. The Boy Scout(s) rescued it! Even with that the trip is exhausting.

What I really want is a week, okay just a few days, in a hotel where it’s stocked with sub sandwiches, Doritos and diet soda and I get to go out to eat once a day. The rest of the time I get to spend writing or watching movies or reading. Sounds boring to some but a JOY to me! That’s why I don’t really like vacations. They are not vacations for me. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it (including eating or not eating, as the case may be).

2) Downloading Kindle books: Okay, so I subscribe to a few emails that give me lists of the books that are currently available at Amazon.com for free as Kindle downloads. I get two or three lists a day, well four actually. I am currently receiving a general list (Pixel of Ink), a non-fiction list (Power Reads) a cooking list (Dining Downloads) and a Christian list (InspiredReads). I download 3-6 books a day. It’s true. I will never have enough free time to read all these books for HOW FUN that I have them. I will never be bored again! Lately I’ve noticed that I “already downloaded” many of the books. Oops.

3) Jacob. So I mentioned Jacob’s arm. This will make this post even longer and I really don’t like my posts being longer than two or three paragraphs. Jacob dislocated his arm in June by jumping  off a swing at Lori’s house. We took him directly to Kaiser in O.C. and they sent us to the hospital (Kaiser) in Irvine. They put him out for the reduction, splinted it, wrapped it and sent us home. We went to the Lancaster facility about 10 days later where they re-X-ray’d it and said we needed to see a specialist. I asked for a removable brace because I have been here before. Approximately 3 years ago we went through this nonsense before. He dislocated it (still fuzzy on the how because he was taking a bath and that just seems crazy!), had it reduced, splinted, etc. at Kaiser Panorama City. Followed up in Lancaster where they said he was “fine” and removed the splint, no brace. He RE-dislocated it within two weeks and at that follow-up I asked for the removable brace. When we saw the specialist this time, we drove to the Kaiser on Sunset Blvd (near Children’s Hospital) in Los Angeles. He seemed to think it was no biggie and he could wear the brace “as needed,” which I interpreted as Most of the time, but Jacob interpreted as; Whenever I feel like it. We went to Lake Powell. He went “cliff-jumping” and RE-dislocated his elbow. No, he was not wearing his brace. I took him to Page (AZ) for the reduction and he struggled to get out of the anesthesia. Yeah, it was not a fun day for Mom (dad wasn’t there, you’ll note). He did wake up and when we followed up with the specialist a few days later in Los Angeles he is now saying Jacob might need reconstructive surgery. Bummer. They will use cadaver tendons to replace his (probably) stretchy elbow tendons. First we get to have an MRI where they will put Jacob under. :::sigh::: No, Mommy is not excited. He currently has a cast. Oh, and it's not waterproof. *eyeroll*

Oh, and Jacob was “supposed” to start school yesterday. When he got there (via bus provided by our local school district) they had no idea he was coming and sent him back home. Great. So I am fixing that SNAFU now. He now WANTS to go to school and is “punishing” me for the mix-up. Loveliness ensues.

4) DD#2 has until August 31^st to “finish” high school. She will then go to St. George to live with Grandma and Grandpa until she finds a job and gets the money to attend Southern Utah University. She wanted to take a trip with her friend so she whooped her tush in gear and got it done except for just a few lessons. I’m helping her a little (Why was Juliet mad?) but WOW! When that girl decides to work, she W-O-R-K-S! Who knew?

5) I am trying to treat writing as my job. So here I am. Writing, that is. Now I get to work on the fun stuff.

KIREI

The Japanese word for “pretty” and “clean” is the same; kirei. The very first thing I have to say about true beauty is:  Wash. Your. Face. ! I admit I am not the best as I have never been great about washing my face at night, but that is a terrible example! My daughter is great about it and a good example for me. She cannot go to bed without washing her face. That is how we should all be; wash your face, brush your teeth. Is that not in the top ten of our Mom-Lectures? I know it is for me!

1. Wash your face: Night

This means removing any eye-makeup with a preferably non-oily eye-makeup remover. I love Mary Kay’s Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover however you can get a similar (not as good) version at Walmart; the Equate brand. L’Oreal also makes one. The thing to look for is two liquids that must be shaken together before using. Because I like eyeliner and mascara (lots of mascara!), I tend to use two cottonballs for my eye makeup removal; per eye.

I then wet my face and hands and suds up the facial cleanser in my hands before applying to my face. I rub the obvious areas; the T-zone (forehead + nose), my cheeks and my chin. I also wash my eyes to be sure I get all the makeup off. It is important to use a mild facial cleanser. I like Dove “soap,” which is not really soap (1/4 cup cleansing cream!) but it is good to get something that is made for your skin type. There are different types of cleansers for oily, normal and dry skin. Sometimes I use a washcloth to make sure it gets really clean especially if I have been sweating. I also use the washcloth to remove any remaining eye makeup (yes it takes a lot of effort to get all the eye makeup off).

2. Pat dry:

This means you do not rub your face in the towel so that you remove several layers of skin onto the towel. I rub a little but, mostly try to “pat” gently. I do not like to drip all over so I actually do a little wiping.

3. Moisturize & Eye cream:

Whether you are washing at night or in the morning it is always important to moisturize. I will probably talk about this more later. Always use eye cream around the eye.

It takes very little! Like the size of this à (@)ß seriously! That’s all it takes! 

Always apply with your ring finger because that is your weakest finger and you do not want to pull on the skin around your eyes—no reason to make extra wrinkles or start them too early! Pat that small dot onto both ring fingers and pat around your eye. I smear it around on my fingers and pat it under my eye and in the corners where I tend to get dark circles.

Then apply about a pea-sized dot of face moisturizer to your face. Be sure it has at least an SPF of 15. Apply it to your cheeks, chin, forehead and nose. If you have short hair you should apply it to your ears and a little on your neck. You might need more than a pea size. Because I no longer can afford Mary Kay products I’ve started using Simple brand moisturizer for both day and night moisturizing. You will probably want two different kinds; a Deeper moisturizing for night and lighter one for the daytime.

That is a basic “Face Wash” in preparation for sleeping or applying makeup; depending on whether it is morning or night.

This video is a basic face wash. It is kind of lame but the best one I could find. Watch the techniques for washing and applying moisturizer:

I know it is vitally important to wash and deep moisturize at night but I admit that I lax occasionally because I am tired. Boo! I can say there is a noticeable difference in my skin when I do! Also, my face feels better and my makeup goes on more smoothly when I wash & moisturize appropriately at night. And who does not want a better complexion and smoother skin? That actually results in using LESS makeup!  

The best video I could find about night care is by Michelle Phan (aka Ricebunny). I will have more about her as I post makeup tutorials, etc. 

His Name is Jacob

My son Jacob has 48 chromosomes, his X and Y chromosomes doubled so he has XXYY. One name for it is Klinefelter’s Syndrome XXYY variant. We sometimes refer to him as a “Double-Male.” I do not really want to get into what all this does to him; suffice it to say that it makes him different. The Wikipedia entry is an excellent resource for most people and was written by a doctor we know and admire for her work researching this rare phenomenon.

Saturday I spent the day at Kaiser Urgent Care and Kaiser Hospital in Irvine Emergency Room because Jacob jumped off a swing and landed on his arm wrong; he dislocated his (left) elbow again. It is the third time we have had to have it reset. It has been more than three years since the last incident and I had hoped his body had recouped enough that it would not happen again. I was mistaken, as was he, and I got to go with him.

He was sweet the whole time. He was in pain but took time to tell me he loved me --even before the meds kicked in! LOL He was mad at himself for getting hurt and thwarting our plans but all I felt was concern that he would  be taken care of quickly and with great compassion because he is, after all, one of my babies. They did not fail me, or Jacob.

Jacob is not an easy child. He has no filter. He feels pain, he hollers. He thinks something, he says it. He gets mad, he reacts. I try my best to make sure he understands what is going on because he makes assumptions and reacts before he realizes there was nothing to react to. I try not to baby him. I try not to shelter him too much; but at the same time I struggle with trying to prepare him for as normal a life as possible. It was easier when as a baby I took him to a therapist and they taught him how to walk, or talk, or eat and even to lick his upper lip. All things he could not do without being taught. Now we are learning there are similar things with social skills and other basic “human” skills that Jacob does not understand.

He is a good kid and wants to do what is right but most days are a real struggle for him. And for us.

Being Beautiful

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but really do we understand the concept of Being Beautiful and how it applies to each individual (woman)? I am gearing my words toward women because it seems that women are the ones that really worry about being “Beautiful.”

I love Love LOVE this beauty statement Mary Kay put out in 2010:

Mary Kay believes that beauty is more than just the way a woman looks- it's also an expression of how she feels. From the characteristics that make her unique and unforgettable to the way she touches the lives of those around her to the products she uses to enhance her natural beauty. A Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant is there to guide every woman in her desire to find ways to express her own sense of beauty. Because no one understands better that all women are beautiful both inside and out. 

I no longer sell Mary Kay beauty products because my focus now lies elsewhere, but I do hope to continue the process of helping women feel beautiful. This is a lifelong pursuit for me because I believe that every woman is beautiful, at least has the potential to be so.

When you look at this statement closely you will find that Beauty is a “feeling.” It is comprised of style, esteem and presentation; i.e.; making her "unique and unforgettable." More importantly is “the way she touches the lives of those around her.” The Mary Kay business model is about serving others. I know I grew from the experience and wish I had actually gleaned more from that part of the training. The last part of a woman's beauty are “the products” used to “enhance her natural beauty.”

Honestly, putting on my makeup is one of the best parts of my day because I get to play with color. My face becomes my pallet and my otherwise artistic failings thrive when I apply brush to cheek and eyelid.

I'm weird, I know. But it's the part of being a girl that I LOVE!

Because, I believe I am beautiful. I know my husband agrees because he was the only one of the guys I dated that called me Beautiful (first date even). I had been called “cute” (for puppies & babies) and “pretty” (for frilly dresses), but to be called Beautiful was a statement of character.

Yeah. I fell for it. Hard.

So if you do not feel beautiful then talk to me. I can help you to see yourself for the way God sees you. Maybe it's my gift? I don't know, I just know that all women are and/or can be Beautiful.

It's what makes us special. 

(And if you are a guy reading this... well, you can be beautiful too but I call it "handsome." LOL)